Everybody's Talking About Jamie

You should have seen it
You should have been there
You won't believe the shit we saw
That went down in there
The men were women
The girls were fellas
They did a rain dance
Wearing nothing but umbrellas
Pass it on

There was a lady
She had a sister
But it was kinda weird
The way the lady kissed her
There were a woman
Whose name was Norman
And the frilly knickers
That was just the doorman
Pass it on

There was a doorman
Whose name was Norman
And then the doorman kissed his sister
She's a Mormon
I heard there's dungeons
Inside the cellars
Where they rain down pain
And spank you with umbrellas

Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout J-J-Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout the boy in the dress
Who was born to impress
Everybody's talking 'bout the things that he wore
Everybody's listening 'cause we need to know more
Everybody's talking 'bout the boy in the wig
'Cause he's gonna be big
Everybody's talking 'bout Ja-a-a-amie

And there was music, and there was dancing
And all the drag queens had to
Lip-sync 'cause they can't sing
Pass it on
And there was smoking
And they were boozing
And there was boys who looked like girls
Which was confusing
Pass it on!

So what's a lip sync?
Is that like kissing?
Yeah, he kissed a girl
Whose girly parts were missing

Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout J-J-Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout the boy
On the stage who broke out of his cage
Everybody's talking 'bout the switch and the lips
Everybody's talking 'bout the tits and the hips
Everybody's talking 'bout the crazy kid and all the things that he did
Everybody's talking about Ja-a-a-amie

He had one gogo boy
Five gogo boys
Ten gogo boys in kilts (in kilts)
He had one dancing girl
Five dancing girls
Ten dancing girls on stilts (on stilts)

He had one backing singer
Five backing singers
Ten backing singers plus choir
He did one somersault
Five somersaults
Ten somersaults on fire

Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout J-J-Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout the buzz
From the crowd and the boy who was proud
Everybody's talking 'bout Ja-a-a-amie

And there were cocktails
And there were mocktails
She wore a scaly skirt
She said was made of croc tails
And there were feathers
And there were leathers
And there were rubber gear
She said were for all weathers

And there were thigh boots
And there were high boots
And there were girl boots
That you wear if you're a guy boots

Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie (everybody's talking 'bout Jamie)
Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie (everybody's talking 'bout Jamie)
Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie (everybody's talking 'bout Jamie)
Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie (everybody's talking 'bout)

Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout Jamie
Everybody's talking 'bout the boy in the dress
Who was born to express
Everybody's talking and they're talking about
The eyes and the thighs and the puh-puh-puh-pout (everybody's talking)
Everybody's talking and there ain't no doubt who we're dying to see
Everybody's talking 'bout Ja-a-a-a-a-a-a-amie