Lastday

Do I miss you yet?
That's like asking if I'm regretting the fact you left
Which is asking if I regret the fact that I got what I need
I got the space to breathe
I got the space to be
Maybe I'm just angry at myself, really
Maybe I'm in my prime and I just don't feel it
Maybe I'm wasting time with all this shit
And I'ma wake up one day and wonder where all that time went
And I'ma hate myself more than I do like right at this moment
I got a knot in my throat as I write this; that's my atonement
And I'm just feeling like I don't know what else to say but I'm gonna
'Cause I know if I pause... I would've lost the moment
Honestly I'm not so good at waking up every morning
And I wish a nigga would talk to me 'bout being open
And I wish my father could talk to me
Without me hoping that he'd stop
'Cause honestly?
I'm hurt he didn't want me

I know you're tired of the no hooks
I know I wish that my songs were more closed-book
I know I'm singing along, thinking I'm over it
But truly I'm not
And I know that feeling will never stop
You know I'm tired of my old ways
You know I'm wishing I could just go turn the page
You know I'm singing along, thinking I'm better than
But truly I'm not
And you know that feeling will never stop

I don't think that I'm real when I'm like this
I hate every single way I feel as I write this
Tried to talk to friends; they don't get it. They just think I'm sad
Thinking it's just the weather when it's honestly it's the forecast
Really it's the climate, though
I know I've been trying, though
Putting my whole soul into it while niggas just rhyming, though
I should be happy; I'm rich enough to afford depression
Rest of my family is struggling; I'm stunting and one-percenting
I know I'm lucky 'cause truthfully, could be anyone
But I'll be damned before I blame my success on another one
Maybe that's the difference
Maybe that's what I'm missing
Maybe I'm still tripping
'Cause I still ain't got the wisdom
Maybes don't make the rainy days into sunny ones
And sunny days don't make winter months into summer ones
The last day, I gotta get my shit together
Hoping that today is the day that I get a change of weather

I know you're tired of the no hooks
I know I wish that my songs were more closed-book
I know I'm singing along, thinking I'm over it
But truly I'm not
And I know that feeling will never stop
You know I'm tired of my old ways
You know I'm wishing I could just go turn the page
You know I'm singing along, thinking I'm better than
But truly I'm not
And you know that feeling will never stop
I know you're tired of the no hooks
I know I wish that my songs were more closed-book
I know I'm singing along, thinking I'm over it
But truly I'm not
And I know that feeling will never stop
You know I'm tired of my old ways
You know I'm wishing I could just go turn the page
You know I'm singing along, thinking I'm better than
But truly I'm not
And you know that feeling will never stop

You know I'm tired of my old ways
You know I'm tired of my old ways
You know I'm tired of these long long long days
And I've tried but we've gone away

And it really, like
The only thing that's left for you to do now is like
Get married and have kids and get a dog
And I know you're all like: "I'm not gonna do that and I'm like
It's gonna be me and do me
And do what I do
And not be who people say people should be when you get older
And do all that
And I'm like rejecting society
Except I'm not really
'Cause I'm not thinking about it that much
But I honestly don't care
'Cause I'm just doing me
And being who I wanna be"
But, you know, that's the thing about getting older
Eventually society always drags you in
And you always become exactly who you never thought you would be
But probably not in the way where
You never thought you would be that person
But just some version of a person that you, like
Never thought you would be
But then it actually turns out that that's who you are
Because, like they say
We all turn out like our parents