The Avant Guard, Pt. 1
He walked a lonely path
Filled with baloney mash potatoes and a goalie mask
He would stroke the rolly polly's back
He said it gave him good luck like hooves from a Pony calf
It was said he had a phony laugh
The day he found out he yelled, "I wish somebody told me that"
He hobbled with an awkward limp
It wasn't a problem but he never would acknowledge it
He despised re-runs and politics
Enrolled in night classes just to get his college fix
It was never 'bout the money
Altho he found it funny when controversy surrounded something
He had scars across his neck and wrist
They say it was an accident at least that's how the legend went
He inherited his mother's ashes
And would put them in a window on display whenever thunder crashes
You could tell by the summer's breeze
He probably was suffering from some type of gum disease
He intended to get started
But decided it was better he just tended to the garden
He had a matchbox and telescope
And if you asked politely more than likely he would tell a joke
Proficient with an abacus
He never used a calculator even during Calculus
He couldn't stand the smell of incense
But often lit a scented candle especially on Christmas
Some people said he was a busy bee
And one time on a field trip had the thought he found the missing link
He had a phobia of open mics
But fantasized one day of going with his trophy wife
Plague by a curmudgeon's grimace
He always put away his mother's ashes when the thunder finished
Filled with baloney mash potatoes and a goalie mask
He would stroke the rolly polly's back
He said it gave him good luck like hooves from a Pony calf
It was said he had a phony laugh
The day he found out he yelled, "I wish somebody told me that"
He hobbled with an awkward limp
It wasn't a problem but he never would acknowledge it
He despised re-runs and politics
Enrolled in night classes just to get his college fix
It was never 'bout the money
Altho he found it funny when controversy surrounded something
He had scars across his neck and wrist
They say it was an accident at least that's how the legend went
He inherited his mother's ashes
And would put them in a window on display whenever thunder crashes
You could tell by the summer's breeze
He probably was suffering from some type of gum disease
He intended to get started
But decided it was better he just tended to the garden
He had a matchbox and telescope
And if you asked politely more than likely he would tell a joke
Proficient with an abacus
He never used a calculator even during Calculus
He couldn't stand the smell of incense
But often lit a scented candle especially on Christmas
Some people said he was a busy bee
And one time on a field trip had the thought he found the missing link
He had a phobia of open mics
But fantasized one day of going with his trophy wife
Plague by a curmudgeon's grimace
He always put away his mother's ashes when the thunder finished
Credits
Writer(s): Buck Bowen
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