Match Made in Heaven

What exactly is the truth?
I can't even tell
Are we a match made in heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?
I have no idea why
I always do this to myself
It's no good for my psyche
Its poison to my mental health
I've lost track of time
These thoughts always make me Dwell
On what I can't change
Or what to fix about myself
Time is ticking
Mind is racing
While I'm pacing
Back and forth through my basement
Trying to realize what I'm facing
Why do i let myself do this?
Staring in the mirror
I can sense the pain creeping out From my iris
I'm exhausted
Never ending nightmares
Causing drooping eyelids
Isolation broken
By lashing out in violence
Ive grown to despise this
It's like I only have 2 emotions
Either I stay quiet
Or I become violent
It's been so damn long
I dont know what a smile is
I'm sick of fake happiness
That underlying violence
So welcome to oblivion
My own private hell
Open up the gates
You'll hear the thoughts that always Make me dwell
Everyone is pretentious
And I can never tell
Are we a match made heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?
So welcome to oblivion
My own private hell
Open up the gates
You'll hear the thoughts that always Make me dwell
Everyone is pretentious
And I can never tell
Are we a match made heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?
I can't seem to understand
What really makes a man
Even question his existence
It's not definitive
But who do I think I'm kidding?
Need to quit pretending
It's completely unnerving
It's so unsettling
It's absolutely sickening
When you have no self esteem
Like a weight on your chest, you Can't even breathe
You're always paranoid
Always feel like you're deceived
Like everyone in this world
Is out to crush your dreams
I'm feeling tired
Need to eat
I need to sleep
But the demons inside my mentality
Won't just let me be
I'm constantly
Wishing I could be
Anyone but me
But it's truly never gonna be
Done so easily
My own reflection makes me sick
People tell me to chill
And light a spliff
But I dont need any of that shit
It doesnt help my self image
In this world that's so pretentious
Flashbacks of the struggle
I've become numb and oblivious
So welcome to oblivion
My own private hell
Open up the gates
You'll hear the thoughts that always Make me dwell
Everyone is pretentious
And I can never tell
Are we a match made heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?
So welcome to oblivion
My own private hell
Open up the gates
You'll hear the thoughts that always Make me dwell
Everyone is pretentious
And I can never tell
Are we a match made heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?
I lay in bed and watch the clock
And just wish that the time would Dtop
Next I know it's been 8 hours
And my alarm is going off
Another sleepless night
Another shitty day
Can't appreciate the sun
When all I ever see is rain
It's like I look at myself
Self inflicted pain
I'm tired of these voices always Fuckin with my brain
Its ripping me apart that their Laughter is engrained
I'm sick of these mental games
I feel abnormal and ashamed
That Ive let this demon take its hold
That I've lost my passion
That I've grown so bitter and cold
How can I have compassion?
When I dont even care about my Fuckin self
I'm tired of my walks in life draggin Me back to hell
I absolutely hate the person that you Make me
I can't seem to see
A light at tunnels end or any other Ending
I'm sick of my obsession
And holding my confession
That I hate you're in my life
You make me sick depression
So welcome to oblivion
My own private hell
Open up the gates
You'll hear the thoughts that always Make me dwell
Everyone is pretentious
And I can never tell
Are we a match made heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?
So welcome to oblivion
My own private hell
Open up the gates
You'll hear the thoughts that always Make me dwell
Everyone is pretentious
And I can never tell
Are we a match made heaven
Or a tragedy in hell?