Peroration

I know in my case it might sound stupid
But by every day's end I feel like I'm totally losing it
Even though there seems to be nothing to lose anymore
After I lost someone I loved the most and my life will never be back to before
Even though it's all planned out if I follow the path
Which I refuse to follow because life to me would become much worse than death

Ironically I can't find escape from my thoughts
With a speed of hundreds of words
Every second I'm blinking and sinking and thinking
Thinking about putting it all to end
No matter if I look at the bright sunny day or at the sand slipping trough my hands
I'd rather die on the peak of the happy me
Than face all the weight that tomorrow's got behind its back for this man to see
Or in the worst case scenario where I'm all done and depressed
Just wanna fade away so no longer any of these feelings will last

I don't wanna fake a smile and lie to your face
I am all that I am and if you're keeping up with the pace
Of the story that's been told in full
I don't wanna keep you a fool
So if you still have some questions
Please bother to drop me a message
I'll make every single detail clear for you and every string connected
I don't wanna make you feel rejected, instead I hope you can relate to it

Before it's too late and I turn my plans into actions
I hope I will be able to grab at least a little bit of your attention
I will not make it out there alone as there would be no point at all
Just like screaming in silence or throwing words at the brick wall
Come with me, let's make our pain our firewood
Let's make the past burn as bright as it possibly ever could
Let's get together in homes far from our homes that will accommodate every single one of us for a night
So that we can sing these songs together side by side