Another Terrible Day

Oh, you're alive
I suppose that's good news for you
But it means a lot more paperwork for me
So don't expect me to be happy to see you
Of course, being alive is temporary
So, maybe if I go away and play pinochle for a few
hours, things might improve. For me. Not for you. You'd be dead
Where am I?
Great!
You haven't been debriefed
This is way out of my pay grade
Which is saying a lot
'Cause I don't get paid
Someone find Professor Hay-for-breath and tell him
Peter Johnson is awake, so he better clip-clop over here!
It's Percy Jackson
Whatever!
Just another terrible day
At Camp Half-Blood
Where everything's the worst
Just another terrible day
When you're in charge
It's like you're cursed
Well, technically I am cursed.
One romp in the woods with Zeus' favorite wood nymph,
and you're stuck running a summer
camp for a bunch of needy half-bloods
Half-blood?
Yeah, half-god, half-mortal. Does no one watch the orientation film?
Did you say half-god?
Yeah. And I half-care
Who's next? Silena Beauregard!
Oh, great, she's crying
I was walking in the strawberry fields with Charlie Beckendorf and we
were holding hands and everything was totally normal and then I
kissed him and all of a sudden he
started growing sunflowers. Everywhere!
Look, kid
I hate to be the one to tell you
But I think that Charlie Beckendorf
was also holding hands with a nymph
That doesn't wanna wish you well
To tell you the truth
The best thing is to break up with the guy
'Course, who am I to give relationship
advice, I'm literally the god of alcohol
But he loves me-
He loves you not! Next!
Another terrible day
At Camp Half-Blood
Where everything's the worst
Just another terrible day
I'm the god of wine
And I'm dying of thirst
Wait, did you say you're a god?
Dionysus, god of wine. The gods are real. Yippy skippy
Ah, Katie Gardner. I see you've injured your arm
I fell off a pegasus
You don't have flying lessons on Thursdays, you have archery
Those arrows are made of wood! wood comes from trees!
I refuse to participate in any activity that
encourages the senseless slaughter of our arboreal friends-
Oh, gods
Give me Ares or Apollo
Anyone but the Demeter kids cabin
Now that you blessed us
Go talk to Hephaestus
Before I take a knife to my head and start stabbing
And stay away from the pegasi! Girls and ponies
Ah, speaking of ponies
Percy!
Mr. Brunner! What are you doing here?
This guy is saying all this crazy stuff about nymphs and gods and
What is going on?
It's... complicated-
Oh kid
You have no idea
About this place or your former mentor
I don't have time
To fill you in on the details
But look, he's also a centaur
God!
I did mean to tell you
Another terrible day (Mr. Brunner!)
At Camp Half-Blood (You're a horse!)
Where everything's the worst
Another terrible day (What is happening?)
You can hate it here
But I hated it first
Just another terrible day
Stuck with these runts
In the muck and mud
Another terrible day
Oh gods!
I need a drink
Enjoy your stay
At Camp Half-Blood