The Night Before Christmas 1967 (Spoken Word)

Ermmhm, alright this is Spider-Man.
The year is 1967.
I'm going to be reading Twas Night Before Christmas.
*Cough*
Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.
And certainly not criminals!
The stockings were hung by the chimeny with care. In hopes that St.
Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were all nestled all snug in their beds.
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
And mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, h
ad just settled our brains... what versions is this?
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
When my Spidey senses started tingling,
out on the lawn arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
"Hey there better not be any nefarious activity out
here because my Spidey sense are ring ranging off the hook!
My Spidey senses."
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a minature sleigh, and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer, and Vixen,
"On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Dunder and Blixem;"
You know what? You know what? This is long.
This is really long. I'll just skip to the end here. Da da da daaa.
Sugarplums, let's see, who wrote this? Moon on the breast,
that's funny. Chubby elf,
turned to the jerk. Here we go, big finish, AND...
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
That good? Am I filling out a time card or are you—you going to send
it to Judy? Okay, I have a splitting headache.
Christmas party last night. Ten sheets in the wind.
Threw up on the traintracks on 34th.
This kid saw me. Not a good look for Spider-Man.
*Cough*
Anyway, that's something for ya, right?
Okay, great.



Credits
Writer(s): Traditional (writer Unknown), Jorma Taccone
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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