Pity

Back then kinda feel like I lost out
Been waiting on a dream come true
Had a vision in my mind now it's crossed out
I would talk about it 'til my face blue

But the picture that I painted was messed up
Thought that I was set now I gotta get dressed up
And I been thinking that i wasn't having the best luck
But then I 'fessed up

Too busy thinking 'bout the bills that money money
The type of woman I would kill for wasn't coming
So I started putting truth in my music
I was on a serious note but now it's funny

The numbers in my phone, I keep em on the D L
Staying up late now I struggle to sleep well
Tried to make people think I've been in a zone
Started to convince myself I'm not alone

I didn't know how to cope
That was a hard pill to swallow
I was crazy to think it'd always be sunny though
Scared of heights but I put me on a tight rope

It's a pity if they laugh at me
It's a pity that they don't see a catastrophe
They're just being naive
I know what's expected of me but perfection is outta my reach

Yeah I know I made decisions
That could create some distance between you and me
I got sick of all the waiting
I swear I couldn't take it now it's a real pity

Yeah I know I made decisions
That could create some distance between you and me
So much guilt that I've been facing
From mistakes I've been making
Now it's a real pity

I've been told that I'm confident
But what they don't know is
That to me it's pretty obvious
I never really know where I'm going

Thinking to myself what to do now?
Smile on my face but I'm freaked out
Every time I lay down at night
Can't sleep try to count sheep
Now I'm sitting here 'cuz I lost count

Thought I had it mapped out, I guess that I didn't
I solemnly swear, my footsteps were hidden
I knew it'd be different if I would give in and just listen
I was so sick of commitment

Its something I could have predicted
I was just told it's forbidden
But then when I wanted to hit it
I took a swing just to miss it
Again and again regret it

There goes the mission
Couldn't withstand the resistance
And I was determined to finish
I wanted a fix, thought it would help but it didn't
I knew it, my mind wouldn't listen

Now I look back at mistakes that were made from a distance
Although I know I am forgiven it doesn't add up
Should've used longer division
I'm placing myself in remission, now it's a pity

Yeah I know I made decisions
That could create some distance between you and me
I got sick of all the waiting
I swear I couldn't take it now it's a real pity

Yeah I know I made decisions
That could create some distance between you and me
So much guilt that I've been facing
From mistakes I've been making
Now it's a real pity

I hope people sing along to this song
Even if I help one person to stay strong
That's what I been put here to do til I'm gone
For so long I just felt like the pressure was on

It's a pity if they laugh at me
It's a pity they don't even know the half of it
They're just being naive
I know what's expected of me but
Perfection is outta my reach (dang)

Yeah I know I made decisions
That could create some distance between you and me
(You and me, you and me)
I got sick of all the waiting
I swear I couldn't take it now it's a real pity
(It's such a pity)

Yeah I know I made decisions
That could create some distance between you and me
(You and me, you and me)
So much guilt that I've been facing
From mistakes I've been making
Now it's a real pity
(It's a real pity)