The Conversation

What happens when I choose to confront the darkness in my heart?
A place where fear and anxiety consume me
and vulnerabilities uncover
Where I find myself questioning the Creator
of knowledge and wisdom
Wondering if I'll ever survive

You see, the real me
but I see, who I should be
Who I am now, nah it's not good enough
I'm everything you're not but to you that's just enough
See I put so much pressure on myself to be like you
Cause I'm afraid what they gon' say when they see I'm not you
So many people man, they wanna be just like me
But if they saw my flaws
So many people wouldn't like me
But who am I to criticize how you created me
I see brokenness but you see beauty in how you're shaping
You gave this breath of life and yea
I know I keep on blowing it
But in my imperfections, you get the glory you're supposed to get
And I ain't perfect and that's just an understatement
I can't do this without you, somebody underline that statement
And I'm a leader and I know these people watch me
But if I make one mistake then they label this stuff hypocrisy
But they don't even know what I been through
And they don't even know where I came from
If it wasn't for you always holding me down
Then I know that I wouldn't have came up
And that's real talk, but they don't wanna hear that
They just want more songs, they just want more rap
They want a perfect album and a perfect artist
But only the Creator can define what perfect art is
And truth be told man, I'm my biggest critic
See I'm too afraid to fail
'Cos I don't think that I can win this
But who do I serve?
Man or myself?
Dang, maybe it's both, I don't know
All I know is I'm tryna be perfect and claim that
I'm giving these people some hope but I'm losing my hope
I know that it's not realistic
I know that I'm broken
I'm Ms misfix it
I know I need help
I'm running this race
I'm never gon' finish
If I ain't got you
That's what I always say
It's one thing to quote it
Heh, but I don't act that way
But to be real I'm just afraid to disappoint myself
Not to mention God, my church and everybody else
See, in the battle of my mind I hear your peaceful voice
Daughter, I chose you way before you even had a choice
And I accept you even when you can't accept yourself
You'll never be perfect that's why I defeated death
So when you cried your tears, I was the one who bottled them
And when you popped those pills I was the one who swallowed
I know you hit rock bottom, so you bottle things but
I am your rock the only thing sitting at the bottom is me
See I am your God
I'm the greatest thing that can ever happen in your whole life
You don't even know
You don't even know
You don't even know what it took for me to make you
And have to turn around and break you
so you can be who I made you
And now you mad that I made you
I paid a price to save you
So you gotta let me, gotta let gotta let me change you
See transitioning has so many phases
See, life is like a tour, so many stages
And I know all you see is different faces
But I promise you,
mine, it never changes

I think it's time we had this conversation
Aye, it's been on my mind contemplating, yea
Gotta know what you're saying to me
Yea, yea, yea
Won't you speak to me
All this crazy world we live
But, I'm always listening
I think it's time we had this conversation