Vacant Chair

You are the wick of a candle
Finally burning out and resting in wax pools
Your daydreams consist of chandeliers'
Hanging from the ceiling in your school
You are convinced that no one will care
That your seat's vacant' or bother to ask "why"
You will be two missed calls and an
Apologetic voicemail on the day you die
Your father doesn't call you on your
Birthday because you stopped making him proud
There's something about your mental
Diagnosis that made him stop reaching out
This rope is made of woven words
That hurt you and leave you in a haze
The gallows are the loved ones that
Have told you "this is just a phase"
As your lungs deplete of oxygen you
Will tell yourself "this is a mistake"
You will beg the ones that care for
You to hold you up and take the rope away

Listen-

This is your community
No communion or holy words spoken through cracked
Lips can stop your family's weeping if you do this
You are like water spilled from our hands - dribbling a little at a
Time into the crevices in which your
Mother planted all of your favorite flowers
You were dying, just like those perennials
And every night of self harm was a petal dropping down' quiet upon
Impact but resounding with a warning almost no one could understand
Suicide is a language for which there is no translation - forgive us
And give us patience as we fumble
Through sentences with you, grasping for clarity
You mother will grasp for it for years
If her greatest creation destroys itself
She will sit in your bedroom and search memories
For times she could've seen those petals falling
There are parts of you spilled out across the world already
Do not spill your soul onto these walls
Because there are millions of better
Times and places for expiration than this
Tell us what you need
We are clasping our fingers together in
An effort to retain what is left of you
We will sit for hours and talk of solutions or sit silent
With you in a room' pondering the weight of simply being ALIVE
You will consider this as a final expression for as long as you exist
- But just because you learned a new
Word doesn't mean you have to use it
We will invent new languages together without blood or dissension
It will take years be fully established
Do not let your place go vacant
Do not let that heart go silent
There is a single petal that hasn't fallen yet
And we will be damned if it is not the most vibrant
Take the rope away