Dungeon Dance

Perched upon the ledge of the Grand Canyon's edge
I have no etiquette my manners are failing me
I'm appalling and obscene but memorable
Legendary, canary fairing fairly well In the coal mine
I spread my wings to get mine
Fly finer than Emirates I know I'm better than 95%
Of the childish veterans that call themselves MC's
Check these statistics: I'm the 3rd standard deviation

Down the normal curve; You're lost in the middle and cannot be heard
Not a sound. Lost and found. I'm around
In case your lyrical precision needs a stitch-up
Don't it get mixed up I'm the surgeon general

Evidence upon the subject qualifies me as federal
If there's doubt inside your mind I'll show you that I'm a veteran
My penmanship is parliament. I pardon empty promises
Impartial in my thought process I simply go ham

Hog the mic all night till the audience throws cans and tomatoes
At my dome while I duck, dodge, and dance
I'll still finish this verse even if you're not a fan
And if you're left unimpressed I'll autograph the receipt

To reimburse you for your time and expended energy
Keep the customer copy because the merchant's is mine
I hope your shopping experience gets better next time
Management has been trying to improve its lines' efficiency

But honestly, pleasing people isn't always in my registry
I better be burning verses to at least the 3rd degree
Or else my target demographic will forfeit listening
To me in favor of some other fool who barely knows what to do

When a copy of Carl Jung falls into his lap
My subconscious is stacked and the game is unfair
So many skeletons in my closet that you'd think I'd have a lair
Or a dragon's den resting at my brain stem

I like causing mayhem
Lock the door I'll kick it in
I'm Trogdor and you'll get singed

Like a thatch-roofed cottage
Got a brain full of knowledge
God knows what it could do
So I said let it loose

Then the monster came through
Destroyed the whole village
Now he's coming for you