The Ballad of Vlad and Donald
One day Vladimir Putin was trying to watch porn on his phone
When his phone rang and interrupted his movie
Vlad was like, "This is what is fucking problem with iPhone seven
"Because when phone ring while I am watching movie, it interrupt movie"
Vlad didn't want to hit decline
Because you can always tell when someone declines your call
Because it rings twice or three times before it goes to voicemail
And that had happened to Vlad a couple of time before
And to be honest it kind of hurt his feelings
He could picture the guy he was calling, his friend, on the other end of the line, pull out His phone and say, "Oh hang on a sec, I gotta see who this is
Oh, it's Vlad, Decline"
In this case the caller was, of course, Donald Trump
Donald Trump was calling Validimir Putin
Vlad was like, "Fuck! It is Donald"
Now he really didn't want to hit decline
He did not want to find out how Donald would react to having his call declined
So Vlad had to let his phone ring like a full eight times
And he had a really annoying ring tone and almost spoiled the mood
Not quite, but almost
Plus Donald is so impatient
Vlad thought to himself, "I will shoot him quick text"
So Vlad texted, "I am in 'meeting;' I will call you back in 20 minutes"
Then he thought to himself, "Actually I better make it 30 minutes
Because now I have to start all over again because stupid fucking iPhone"
One day Vladimir Putin was trying to watch porn on his phone
When his phone rang and interrupted his movie
Fuck it is Donald
Donald Trump
Decline
One day Vladimir Putin was trying to watch porn on his phone
When his phone rang and interrupted his movie
Donald Trump
Fuck it is Donald
Donald Trump was calling Validimir Putin
Donald Trump
Decline
When his phone rang and interrupted his movie
Vlad was like, "This is what is fucking problem with iPhone seven
"Because when phone ring while I am watching movie, it interrupt movie"
Vlad didn't want to hit decline
Because you can always tell when someone declines your call
Because it rings twice or three times before it goes to voicemail
And that had happened to Vlad a couple of time before
And to be honest it kind of hurt his feelings
He could picture the guy he was calling, his friend, on the other end of the line, pull out His phone and say, "Oh hang on a sec, I gotta see who this is
Oh, it's Vlad, Decline"
In this case the caller was, of course, Donald Trump
Donald Trump was calling Validimir Putin
Vlad was like, "Fuck! It is Donald"
Now he really didn't want to hit decline
He did not want to find out how Donald would react to having his call declined
So Vlad had to let his phone ring like a full eight times
And he had a really annoying ring tone and almost spoiled the mood
Not quite, but almost
Plus Donald is so impatient
Vlad thought to himself, "I will shoot him quick text"
So Vlad texted, "I am in 'meeting;' I will call you back in 20 minutes"
Then he thought to himself, "Actually I better make it 30 minutes
Because now I have to start all over again because stupid fucking iPhone"
One day Vladimir Putin was trying to watch porn on his phone
When his phone rang and interrupted his movie
Fuck it is Donald
Donald Trump
Decline
One day Vladimir Putin was trying to watch porn on his phone
When his phone rang and interrupted his movie
Donald Trump
Fuck it is Donald
Donald Trump was calling Validimir Putin
Donald Trump
Decline
Credits
Writer(s): Dave Loopstra
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
Other Album Tracks
- I Only Like Jeans
- The Ballad of Vlad and Donald
- Ate Too Many Cannibis Edibles
- Can't Quit Facebook
- The Continental Breakfast
- Tuesday Night Love Song (When You've Been Married 15 Years and Both Have to Work the Next Day)
- The Rest of This Page Was Intentionally Left Blank
All Album Tracks: The Rest of This Page Was Intentionally Left Blank >
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