Solo

Hey
Hey
How are you?
You cute
DTF?
Let's just cut this bullshit and meet for a drink
Loved that photo of you in Paris
What was your favorite restaurant while you were there?

I am the most miserable man that you can imagine

I don't normally contact people on this
But I find you very intriguing
Something about your eyes

I have no friends

Dick pic, dick pic

I have no family
Nobody loves me

Pineapple on pizza is good, fuck you!

I'm just another awkward, introverted, isolated waste of space
Such a failure

Are you a zero percent APR loan?
Because I'm having trouble understanding your terms
And you aren't showing any interest
Yeah, that's kinda good

So many men in my pocket
I roll through my infinite scroll
Never grows old
Yes no no yes yes
Left right left left right left
It's like candy
It's like catnip
It's like crack
I dose
I doze
I daydream
A stairwell
A rooftop
A sunbeam

I could be so good at love
I could be so good at love

Last night
I was at the drug store
Having trouble with the self-service checkout
And a woman touched my back
Tried to help me
It felt like sparklers and strawberries
Do other people get to feel this all the time?
Whoa

I feel my body stretch between two cliffs
One side is fantasy
The other reality
I feel my fingers start to lose their grip
And can't hold on (I can't hold on!)

Mama was a gambler
Mama played the slots
Watching the reels go round and round
When will I get lucky?
When will I get my shot?
When will those three cherries line up?
When will those three cherries line up?
When will those three cherries line up?
When will those three cherries line up? (When will those-)
When will those three cherries line up? (Three cherries line up?)
When will those three cherries line up? (When will those three cherries line up?)
When will those three cherries line up? (When will those three cherries line up?)

The arousal of uncertainty
The irresistible pull of variable schedule rewards
Wading through the fuckboy, thot seeker, incel catfish creepers
And stumbling sophomore poetry magazine rejects
I get so lonely after swiping

And of course when I actually do have sex with someone
It's usually like...
Wow, you watch a lot of porn

So then porn...
There is a drug
Inside my head
I just have to turn it on
Fall into the screen and I'm gone
And no one talks about this at all
Oh, people laugh
Oh, the hilarious scenarios
The pizza man, the pool guy
We laugh it away
But that's what's so insidious
This monster hides subliminally corroding our lives
And I know it's complicated
I've read all the articles
I'm not some prude religious conservative
I support sex workers
And sex positivity
Let me take just a moment to signal my virtue
By telling you all my pornography preferences

You know I actually used to like porn?
I loved the ones with a story
The female directed stuff
Lesbian, step-sibling, massage
Perfect European villas
Good lighting and lingerie
Oh I love it when they make love
And you're like, oh, that- that
That- that- that is the sex that I want
It can be so beautiful
When two performers lock eyes
And you can see
The joy and communion
The ancient divine union of sex
We all know that's what sex is, right?
It's fucking God
But porn is solitaire scentless and safe
We have sucked the sacrament out of sex

Sex should be a rite of passage
But our kids are watching fisting, pissing, hitting, pounding
And I don't wanna shame anyone's kink
It's fine if it's consensual (don't wanna shame-)
But there's a level of psychological complexity there (no one's kink!)
That I certainly didn't understand at 13 (psychological complexity)
Much less 11, or 9
It's catastrophic (It's catastrophic)
There is an erectile dysfunction epidemic (Erectile dysfunction!)
That nobody talks about!
At least drug addicts and alcoholics are kind of cool
Musicians and artists
Their redemption stories are honored
Or if someone has an AA chip, good on you bro!
But porn? No way man!
No one fucking honors that!

And the porn dudes are always the ones that become such shits
The petty whiplash cruelty of a man-child scorned

Yeah I wouldn't have fucked you anyway
You're about a five, ugly and fat with shit hair
A repressed and unfeminine lump
Unfuckable cunt
You need to be gagged

You need to be gagged!
But then it's like...
If I say something, am I pushing him somewhere darker?
Radicalizing him?
Like...
Is this guy the next fucking manifesto mass murderer?
And so I take on that weight too
There's no fucking equivalency here

There're these guys online
And they say that the world
Is an all-encompassing black pill
That you have to constantly shove
Into the back corner of your mind
There're these guys online
And they- they say that we don't fuck
'Cause we're low status
Introvert, ugly, awkward, outcasts
And the Chads and Stacys will never let us in
The Chads and Stacys just laugh at us
There're these guys online and they say
It's us against them
Make your mark!
And I feel the pull of that

I feel my body stretch between two cliffs
One side is fantasy
The other reality
I feel my fingers start to lose their grip
And I can't hold on (I can't hold on)

I could be so good at love (I feel my body stretched between two cliffs)
I could be so good at love (one side is fantasy, the other reality)
I could be so good at love (I feel my fingers start to lose their grip)
I could be so good at love (And I can't hold on)

I ask my mom, why do you keep going back there?
Every day working the slots, she's lost so much
And then I keep doing things I know aren't good for me
But where am I supposed to meet people?
Church?
Fuck!