Mark's Confused

I'm so confused I can't deny, it's easy when I fantasize
About my life, my future and the reasons why I can't decide
To open my eyes and cope with my lies, I hope that I find
My way out but no matter how life plays out, I'll still be
So confused I can't deny, it's easy when I fantasize
About my life, my future and the reasons why I can't decide
To open my eyes and cope with my lies, I hope that I find
My way out but no matter how life plays out, I'm still stuck

I graduated while fabricating smiles in desperate times but I'll cope
But lately I've been just try'na avoid putting my neck inside a round rope
The only thing I know's how to manipulate records right to sound dope
With these messed up lines that I wrote. I'm not as set for life as I'd hoped
You feel? 'Cos maybe I'm a little bit illiterate
Riveted by the vivid depictions of what the internet's sinking into my brain
Forget it, I bit a bit of the bait, I'm already sinking
But lately it's been getting so sickening with the pain
I need to get rid of this doubt, I'm sick of it hindering my way of living
I'm thinking that I'm the same
As every kid that's been getting hit by the wickedness of life
I'm inches from winning and staying sane
And inches from losing, I'm damaged
I'm sinking like cruise ships, titanic. Overthinking's a nuisance
I've had it since it's been introduced in my habits. It's a freaking intrusive life hazard
I've been feeling so useless, ninth planet. What's the quickest solution man
I'll figure it out, I'll figure it out
I'm slower with certainty, quicker with doubt and I'm bickering while
I picture the clouds as something within reach while shaking with anxiety
'Cos society is expecting me to be better than who I'm already trying to be
While they lie to me? It's like
Hold up, I've been holed up again so that my trembling eases down
Then assemble the pieces tryna develop a thesis fully enveloped with beats
And heavenly keys
Hoping to rekindle the peace, keeping my mental at ease
All of my songs are expressive releases I make for most of my stress to relieve
I said it would leave but then it increases, never decreased
My head has been feeding me confusion, doubt
And my irrelevant feats like repetitive tweets
I definitely indefinitely wanna mute them now
With the soothing sound of music louder than voices in my head
Am I losing it now
And I hate myself 'cos instead of facing the problem
I'm right here complaining and choosing to bow
There's a burden I feel when I'm making a song
Especially when it has taken as long
As a month or a year, there are days when I'm off but at times
I can feel inspiration is strong
So I stay 'til the dawn 'cos time I spent'll help
But in a way, I exhaust my own mental health
The pressure I put on my own actions factor into the sadness, I'm asking myself why