Mixed Feelings on Memory Lane

I haven't blossomed
Since I think nearly a year
Brain stuck in past tense
Pictures framed in fear
And now I'm here
Tracing their footprints between my ears

Remember how we first met
I don't think I will forget
How we met behind the back of your best friend
Remember how you let her slide
And oh that you've always denied
That it's your fault but instead you cursed her
Remember our first drive
To 069 in our life's
And how the people there would help us to ripe
Remember how I told you
Forever doesn't sound cool
But maybe that showed you our rotten roots
Remember how we switched sides
You became colder than ice
I opened up the first time and ended up paying the prize

I get the feeling that over this grief
Water turned from clean to wine
I get the feeling that I have to leave
Leave these thoughts behind
I get the feeling
I get the feeling
I get those feelings
I get those feelings

Mixed feelings on memory lane that I got
From mixed messages that you sent
One side dies out while the other gets stronger
In this lopsided storm of love

Remember remember remember future teller
It could be hot as the summer but it is cold as december
Its freezing br like the winter
You making berlin the centre
Of one more trip in your future
Was sore and sick of your bullshit
Then I remember your bday
Shortterm member then I leave ey
Lets set her heart onto ebay
December my heart is freezing
Surrender to my thought im beating
Myself up I cant believe it
Im feeling guilty im grieving
My tantrums I cant conceive it
How blind I was for the demons
Your dealing with no Im stealing
Your time as a human beeing
These thoughts yeah they are revealing
My reasons and all my kneeling
But now I finally see it
Torture myself every evening

I get the feeling that over this grief
Water turned from clean to wine
I get the feeling that I have to leave
Leave these thoughts behind
I get the feeling
I get the feeling
I get those feelings
I get those feelings

Mixed feelings on memory lane that I got
From mixed messages that you sent
One side dies out while the other gets stronger
In this lopsided storm of love
There's toxic tares on memory lane that grew from
The rotten roots that were planted there
One side dies out while the other gets stronger
In this lopsided storm of pain

Damn this thinking back
Is beating me up
Why did you?
Why did I?
Say so many things I regret now
Out of all of the things
I regret in my life
Texting you back then isn't of them
But now it's time for goodbyes

And now that everyone's gone I feel like I don't matter anymore
And now that everyone's gone I feel like I don't matter anymore to anyone
And now that everyone's gone I feel like I don't matter anymore
And now that everyone's gone I feel like I don't matter anymore to anyone