Jealous (feat. Mackenzie Nicole)

I've never been an envious person in my life, man
Never been jealous of nobody
But like, I did have a conversation with Mackenzie the other day
About like sometimes you do slip into those envious moments
That people who don't have to deal with
The mental health shit we deal with, you know what I mean
Like how do you not feel that?

Juxtaposition of the weak and the strong
In a world full of so many people
But seem so alone
I fall into comparin' myself to few
So elated, I've waited with nothing else to do

I sit at bay while the ocean moves
Transparent, opaque, but we're both so blue
Look to space, lost within, it seems, oh, so gloom
Both dark for a star, where I go's no moon
And I feel like fightin', betrayed by God
And I don't feel right cryin' while everybody's smilin'
But I'm real-life dyin' to live a life like you do
With mental illness non-existent, pain is well but few too

Taking some shots like my pistol out
You can just tell the bartender to send more rounds
Pop me an Ativan, so I can simmer down
Someone save me before I fuckin' hit the ground
I know what I feel is envy now
People don't feel what I feel, and that's really wild
Invisible while I'm standin' right in the crowd
When they said, "Ignorance is bliss," I get it now

I'm jealous of you
I'm so jealous (jealous)
Damn, I'm jealous of you
So jealous of you
Yep, I'm jealous of you
I'm so jealous (jealous)
Damn, I'm jealous of you
So jealous
Jealous, yeah

You ain't never dealt with this pain, yeah
All sunshine, no rain, yeah
Your life's so clean, no stain, yeah
Ain't no stress, no strain, yeah
Never dealt with this pain, yeah
Fuckin' up your brain, yeah
Life's so clean, no stain, yeah
Ain't no stress, no strain, yeah (jealous)

Chuggin' this 40 while holdin' his TEC
Jellysickle like E-40 and Tech
How the fuck he don't feel this? Mean no disrespect
I'm as cold as a corpse, I'm a ghost in the flesh
Society has it at home to be next
Preachers outtake me, now bozo's a threat
For jelly, you embrue like the homie I guess
For sure depressed, that ball went over your head (over your head)

Insomnia when you going to bed
And searchin' for love, I ain't holdin' my breath
I don't wanna answer my phone or a text
But it's 3 a.m., and I'm scrollin' my thread
All of this fame, but still lonely as heck
Don't check on me, but I'll still loan you a check
One day you'll be woke to this cloak, how I'm dressed
By then, at the way, King Iso'll be dead

Two baby boys, why I give all my passion
And I stay driven, though mentally crashin'
Some people just do not get it, I'm askin'
Is it wrong to feel this envy I'm having?
I'm savin' lives I didn't imagine
Got to be strong, my strength isn't lastin'
Here is the sad plot twist I've established
Iso's a hero that wished it could happen, I'm jealous

I'm jealous of you
I'm so jealous (jealous)
Damn, I'm jealous of you
So jealous of you
Yep, I'm jealous of you
I'm so jealous (jealous)
Damn, I'm jealous of you
So jealous
Jealous, yeah

You ain't never dealt with this pain, yeah
All sunshine, no rain, yeah
Your life's so clean, no stain, yeah
Ain't no stress, no strain, yeah
Never dealt with this pain, yeah
Fuckin' up your brain, yeah
Life's so clean, no stain, yeah
Ain't no stress, no strain, yeah, jealous

"Antipsychotic amphetamine won't stabilize her ass," they say
Can't be alright (alright)
Can't relate to any of them around
My life is a circus, I feel like the clown
Gave me this life and I'm turnin' it down
I'm sick of this shit, now I'll see myself out
I was feelin' that I would start the car and close the garage, 'age
So many thoughts form in my mind
But I won't say much, I won't say much, 'uch

'Cause you won't understand (ah)
You weren't dealt this hand (hand)
I try not to be mad at you, but I can't correct my statue
When your happiness is actual
And my energy can't match you
Tell me
Tell me, why?

Pain, yeah
Rain, yeah
Stay here
Strain here
Pain here
Brain, yeah
Stay, yeah
Strain, yeah
Jealous