Sunday Morning Cartoons

I wake up and the sun is not yet rising
Tossing and turning worrying about the price of insulin
And other assorted prescription remedies
The problem is I don't know who I can talk to
Living happily in liberal tragedy
Dying of preventable disease

Climb out of bed and the mirror is very frightening
You never know who could be watching
Every wet dream out there on the internet
Recorded through a taped-over laptop camera
I wake up and the sun is still shining
Is 2pm late enough?
I don't know
I'll get back in bed

Captain America takes a swing at Doctor Strange
They've gotten quite confused
At who's side they're supposed to be on anyways
You see Moriarty's back and as we knew he would
Is causing trouble in your neighborhood
So buy up every war bond to put bullets in your best friend's gun!

Captain Planet takes a shot at Dick Cheney
And Dick returns the firing act in away that's very friendly
But I've seen this one before
Yes I know how this one ends
No one held accountable for all these damn reruns of Friends

How am I supposed to keep myself fed
When everything I touch is a carcinogen
And I'm told it's only an issue of attitude
There's traitors in blue and devils in red
While I'm just trying to get out of bed
With waffles in the shape of your favorite Sunday morning cartoons

Joseph McCarthy aims his sights at Lucille Ball
Screaming, "this one's because I don't like you very much at all!"
But how she got away still shocks experts to this day
Another fallen woman, disappointment to William Hayes

Wile E. plants a trap that meticulous coyote
Trying to catch someone in the act of admitting that they're lonely
But I don't think I'm supposed to be
The one who calls the cavalry
That's for a nation under God
With a born-again fear of atomic bombs

Would you like to understand
Where this whole damn mess began?
You see the Office Space crackerjacks were bored
Things were going a bit too well in their 401k prison cells
And they couldn't seem to take it anymore

So when Y2K came and went
Without so much as a clock reset
Chaotic dreams no longer kept
I swear they all fell down and wept

Then I looked inside myself
And I saw an empty wishing well
I thought it would be better than before
I was born September 12th
The year we took the batteries out
And lost what was once but never lost before

The 2K12 came and well
Nobody was judged or sent to hell
So we got up for another round
Then shut up by that ringing sound

Then it all comes crashing down
It all comes crashing dow-ow-ow-own

And I don't care
If God was really there
Can't be bothered
To get out of bed
At all