Speakin' Timber

This next segment demonstrates but a few of the many uses of wood
That naturally occurring cellulose material that we often take for granted
During the segment, count the variety of ways
That you see that wood is actually being used

They're calling. I'm hollering. They're troll'lolololn, ha! I'm loln

You go get the drills
You go get the screws
Let's hop up on our saw
Horse and make something huge

This Lumber is creaking
It's speaking to you
Like it was wondering what we were
Tinkering with or thinking to do

Oh yay, I wanna half pipe
No way, I wanna jump
No wait, I wanna wall ride
Whoa ay, I wanna bump

Oh say, I wanna rail slide
Bro, mane, I wanna hump
So wait, I want it small
Too late, I want it plump

Slow it down, we got time to
Go to town, first we gotta
Know the how's, what's, why's
But's before we throw it down

Who's got the cash, who's
Got the hash, who's got the
Flask? Glug, glug, glug
Glug, thanks I needed that

First let's do some stretches
Best bet, learn to get limber
Then herbs do some blessing
And get burnt to a Cinder

Don't get too turnt
Make it some work to remember
Be a tree whisperer
Please, speak in timber

Carve, grind, slash
Carve, grind, slash
Carve, grind, slash
Carve, grind, slash, very good, have a drink

Keep your freestyling to a
Minimal, bad lines are criminal
I'm giving you one last
Chance to measure up, digital

Sorry to be so reprimanding
Like your granny, but there's
Nothing worse than touching the sad
Curves of a bad tranny

Let the doctor operate
All we want is Doctor grade, a
PhD with a proper blade and
OCD or you walk the plank

Get off the ship, back to the
Ditch with you kid, don't
Bitch, it belittles bitches
And we are all feministses

Chicks are always welcome, except the
Ones who're trying to sell some
Unless you're into helping, keep your
Feedback for the yelping

Pussies aren't recommended
But we wish them all the best
Always hard as cement, maybe we're
Better off in a sausage fest

Reefer with some brewskis and a
Teener two of two skis, just a
Little dab'll do ya, stay
Away from meth and roofie's, lots of

Boards, boards, Dogtown needs its
Lords, lords posers make us
Bored, bored, groupies get
Ignored, Lord, whores! Whores!

Carve, grind, slash
Carve, grind, slash
Carve, grind, slash
Carve, grind, slash, very good, have a drink