Airplane Mode

Speech delayed, I'm in Airplane Mode
This is what I was given, wasn't a life I chose
Feeling like a human Rollie 'cause my time is froze
Beautiful soul, yet fragile like a diamond rose

My heart can only take so much, from all these blows
I be stressing but fuck it, can't let nobody know
I'm they go-to, so I can't let this part of me show
Always dressed up in smiles when I'm in parties though

I wish life was more E-Z so they'd let me pass
If only y'all all really knew where my head be at
My mind be on another world, I always mention that
Still, nobody ever yet tried to question that

Feel like I hoop against my home team and I'm second cap
They discarded my seasoning to find a better pack
Treated our bond like old toys how they severed that
Is it because they hate me, or they're threatened fast?

Would you believe me if I told you I be tryna cry?
I be swearing I'm a phoenix, I ain't tryna die
I be lyrically soaring, but I'm tryna fly
Fake niggas Harley-Davidsons, how they tryna ride

To learn my business and take me down, like swatting flies
And for that reason alone, I keep a lot inside
Always look for light in people's eyes, I ain't stopping shine
People are temporary, good looks for stopping by

Colder than February, Valentine's broken heart
Always felt like people ignored my spoken art
If I press reboot I'ma just have a slow restart
Tried to prevent it but deep down, we'll grow apart

Go our separate way, more options he weigh
I'm thinking maybe if a nigga stay that's better pay
Tryna hold it down with more strength, need better spray
Even if they throw me into the fray, for them I pray

Survival of the fittest, gotta hunt or be hunted
Will I catch they bad vibes? I bet they wonder
I'll give everyone the world while mine falling under
Human shield, I always wind up as somebody cover

I always been too nice, been told that since a youngin'
I was never into arguing, that shit exhausting
People chat to be heard, they missing the importance
They darken good deeds, and brighten misfortunes

They always show me two sides, that's word to my mother
Flippin' sides more than coins, they can't wait to toss me
Must be highlight reels, some can't wait to cross me
Once I was handed that L, that's when they lost me

No matter who I link, I keep my pain chillin'
If we relate we're in sync, call that a pain spillin'
Illustrating with ink, I call it pain spillin'
I usually write what I think, never what I'm feeling

If I all do is exist, am I truly living?
Honestly speaking, many problems, tried to fix 'em
Always deaded arguments to fix issues with quickness
Most likely tried too late, too late for forgiveness

The way I used to give my all, you would think it's Christmas
What we do is what we do, nobody's business
Through the grape vine it was sickened, thanks to the system
People focus on the destroying and never building

True friends my witness, tired of being slandered
Tired of being looked at as toxic, I'm no hazard
For those who think I put myself first, you thinking backwards
I treat it like a job to know niggas ain't feeling battered

I always work to make people smile, keep 'em flattered
But when it was time for my one call, nobody answered
Came to terms with the fact I ain't anyone's standard
Sometimes I be really wishing time never mattered

Down this road I go alone, I'm traveling with patience
Many mixed emotions but of course that been my fragrance
All these thoughts and emotions, you hear it in my cadence
Brought up some senses, to make sure you feel vibrations

I turned my phone's notes, into a diary
Where my unreleased heat, is under 'Privacy'
I love who I shouldn't care about, that's the irony
Took my phone off Do Not Disturb, here's the private me