The Real Thing

I moved to Berkeley, California in August of 2012
The year that my life began, but I honestly couldn't tell
Whether it was for worse or better to venture out of my shell
And write myself a narrative I never imagined I'd tell

No chance in hell I would be here if I hadn't received it
A piece of paper, auditions for college theater this weekend
I believed it was destiny, took my chances and I succeeded
The rest of my college years it became the thing that I needed

In our comfy little pond, the competition was heated
I fought to be respected but constantly felt defeated
We found each other in solace, cooperated to beat'em
As partners in solidarity I'm so sorry I

Did what I did, but understand though I wish I could take it back
I'm glad you're in my past, when I think of the way you reacted
I lit a match, the past three years were turned to ashes
The path that I had in front of me I could only imagine

She wondered where these wings were gonna take her
Ephemeral like vapor
Flimsier than paper, er
Oh

I wish these wings would take me where I want to
Somewhere I can run to
From the things I'll never undo, o
Oh

2016, for some reason I'm still alive
Quit my job and I was looking for meaningfulness in life
Filling free time with meaningless hookups and open mics
A theater friend suggested I look at a joint he liked

I started there as LEX the same place that we met
You caught my attention instantly and gained my respect
Your electromagnetic stage presence made me obsessed
But most of all you made me interested in taking your steps

I fell in love but at the time I wasn't honest with you
And we didn't see eye to eye on what we wanted to do
'Cause you loved other people too and you needed to keep it open
Which was ok but I hoped that we could be more than a fluke

Then a moment that shook the world brought us closer as lovers
In a nation plagued by darkness we offered each other comfort
Understanding and empathy our only sources of light
I finally made the jump on the path to another life

She wondered where these wings were gonna take her
Ephemeral like vapor
Flimsier than paper, er
Oh

I wish these wings would take me where I want to
Somewhere I can run to
From the things I'll never undo, o
Oh

The jump hurt. I broke and injured myself
And yet I focused and kept at it at the risk of my health
Pushed the limits of my body like I was living in hell
Yet followed my sole directive, a story I lived to tell

As I grew and recovered I discovered a world anew
A group of people who loved me and almost certainly knew
What I was working to do, understood the way that I think
Unlike my other adventures this felt like The Real Thing

My life was hard-reset and so was my heart
My eyes opened up to a higher level, the barriers fell apart
The past that had brought me here now appeared to be antiquated
And far away, though I'm not the same, I would hate to discard it

'Cause changing is hard. I'll never see it like I used to
But I remain on the journey that I was first introduced to
By a piece of paper, now decayed, absorbed by the sediment
Decision after decision propels me in my experiment

Who am I and what am I doing this for
In my mind were all these questions I never noticed before
Approval or fame or love or respect or money or status
Or happiness, not just stepping stones but acceptable goals

Do I want more?
Something genuine and kind
The reason I'm even here, I'll eventually leave behind
As I leave the city to find who and what I will care about
Where these wings are gonna take me
I haven't figured it out.

She wondered where these wings were gonna take her
Ephemeral like vapor
Flimsier than paper, er
Oh

I wish these wings would take me where I want to
Somewhere I can run to
From the things I'll never undo, o
Oh