Everything I Am III

Wrote this sooner than I expected
Partially cause I love dropping heat when you least expect it
Partially cause I'm feeling the pain of being rejected
And partially cause I know this is what y'all would've requested
Look I'm sick and tired of the question what's up with music
Deep down wanna say that this shit is just fucking stupid
But I don't curse on my tracks so for now let's just say it sucks
And please, pardon my french while vent, its the frustration talking
Last time that it happens, I'm not the type to lose patience often
Can't afford the rent so we pay in portions, my days are shortened
A couple weeks back I sat and met with atlantic
And things were looking up but the downs are what did the damage
Cause then they stopped responding and that's when I start to panic
At the same time ain't surprised cause that's life and I understand it
Besides, I really ain't even that good at this
I'm just a mediocre, no-hit-makin
Kid who loves dream to escape from the pain of real life
Don't really mean that but for the moment that's what it feel like
Mr good but just not good enough
Mr you can't penetrate the hip hop culture
Cause you ain't hood enough
Mr keep your day job
Mr you gon go down as one of the ones
Who tried but just never got it just stop it
You gon disappoint the little bitty fans that you got
You gon disappoint your mother, you never gon get discovered
You ain't special, you ain't different, you nothing but just another
Generic rapper that's basically adding to all this clutter
I can't say that these are words that came from somebody else
These are words that come up in conversation but with myself
But I get over myself, know when I'm full of myself
The hungry part of me wrote this, the hungry part of me's focused
Even when part of me's hopeless
Hope less cause part of me knows it hurts
Cause it gets hard to get noticed
But that's just part of the show biz
And I got no business letting a setback keep me from trying
Live the kinda life that kills but music keeps me from dying
That's why I write like my life depends on it
And every song makes me cause
I only go as far as these records take me
And even on my off days
Showing up with sentences heavy enough
To lock all you rappers up like a court date
Looked up at the sky and ask God why I'm always stressing
Till he taught me how look at curses as though they're blessings
That's when I found the chill to embrace the pressure I'm blessed with
Cause I realize that it brings out the best of me when I'm tested
Got so much time invested, that's why I'm overprotective
Aggressively progressing, obsessive bout my progression
I only move one direction, that's up
No time for detours
You wouldn't know until your career's on the brink of C4
You wouldn't know until get something major to reach for
I'm here to stay, they here for a season, holiday decor
And rumor has it my path is clashing with science
Statistically should fail but please pardon my non compliance
They talk up all your losses, you win it's nothing but silence
But the fact that I ain't drop this tape yet is an act of kindness
And they tell me to be humble cause I'm early in the game
But what if the rest are good and you know what you got is great
You bring a feast to the table and all the rest bring a plate
I can't fall in line and act like
I'm here just by some mistake nah
I rap to keep the lights on
Moms could barely manage
Dummies saying this easy the ones who don't understand it
Took every disadvantage and used it to my advantage
Would amount to nothing if you count everything I was handed
This all earned, major commitment partner thats it
No spam within my circle, I never question my clique
Thought I might need a rolex, us rappers just can't resist
Till I showed you what time it is without decorating my wrist
Oh my
Letting the bars fly
And only getting started
I think I found my zone somewhere in this crappy apartment
Calm in the midst of chaos
Wrote this on the night they cut the cable off
So I aint as mad that I missed the playoffs
That's pain turned punchline
Imma run this track till I pull a hammy
And rap till I'm racking up at the grammys
And stack till I got more racks than the playboy mansion
Advanced but this is far from a game boy
I aint here for fame boy
I don't rap for chains like you lames I rap for change boy
But yall aint worth the effort yall wont never understand me
Couldnt hold back this is everything I am 3