Spending Time on Nothing

I've got so much to do
Priorities askew
Comatose, I can't come to
I love wasting my time
I'm rarely in the zone
My hopes, my dreams unknown
Old feelings overblown
Print my pain in a rhyme

Walking home from work
Been talking like a hippie but I dodge the dirt
Get to rocking on a trippy one man concert
Hear a knocking on the door, feel like an introvert
I've been blocking off the ones I love
They've been stalking on my status, know I'm doing rough
Getting started on their blabbering, I've had enough
Play the part of loner stoner when I take a puff

Spend my last moments of each evening searching for some peace
Defend my past, trends repeating when I nurture my own beast
I'm on blast, judgement coming from the west and from the east
Second class, I'm left longing for the most to say the least

What can I say?
Looking forward to tomorrow each and every day
Taken further from my sorrow when I start to play
Tryna triangulate my talent but it's gone astray
It's the natural way when I'm called to perform
I can't cue my capabilities when caught in the storm
Won't eschew my new tranquility though it leaves me torn
Exhibiting fragility 'cause I've been reborn

I find that all I ever wanna do is get faded
But it only ever makes me feel worse the next day
Did I ask for this?
God, can I pass on this?
Nah, I'm a pacifist but I only feel relief when I'm smashing shit

I only think what I believe, never sure of it
I'm always sinking ever deeper in the sandpit
Already know it gets worse when I throw a fit
Keep it steady 'til I burst, gotta take a hit

I stay creative but you never give a fuck
Each and every day I'm working on not feeling stuck
Ever in a rut
Can't keep my mind's eye shut
I watch the time but I find that it still runs amok

It's slipping past
I'm too busy thinking fast
Tipping point has come and passed
And my good faith ain't gonna last

They wanna chastise me
But it's my last vice, see?
I try to practice what I preach and that's a drastic feat
They're all so plastic, cheap
They're all so tragically
Just walking down the street
Without a conscious beat

My heart swells when you say me name
My mind dwells when you lay down blame on me
I can't tell you we're not the same
Every time that I hurt you shame on me
Shame on me
Every time that I hurt you shame on me
Shame on me
Every time that I hurt you shame on me