Meaningless Measures

Scattered amongst the wreckage
Memories and moments are left here in tatters
It only makes it sadder
To think that at one time I thought that it mattered at all

It's okay, I'll bend but won't break
Until one day I don't wake up

I'm lost in the lesson again
Surrounded by shards of my confidence
And it feels like the walls are closing in
The silence is salient
I've lost track of the days
Lost track of the ways that I fucked up everything
I'm not sure that I've learned anything I'm afraid

I'm hopelessly lost in these measures without meaning
I'm crying out desperately why can't you hear me?
I've lost my sense of feeling
So please double check that my heart is still beating

Today I'm okay, I'll bend but won't break
Until one day I don't wake up

I'm lost in the lesson again
Surrounded by shards of my confidence
And it feels like the walls are closing in
The silence is salient
I've lost track of the days
Lost track of the ways that I fucked up everything
I'm not sure that I've learned anything I'm afraid

Please tell me it's not too late
One day I can change

There's something wrong, I know there is
Because my head is fucked up again
I've always had these thoughts, I was just not sure what they meant
And yet I can't seem to get them out of my head

I hope there's an answer I haven't found yet
I'm running out of strength

They are calling for rain
Baltimore, you get lonelier everyday
I'm anxious and I'm afraid that it may never change
I just feel further and further away
And I am barely awake
And surely I have tried to self medicate
And I know that the cost will be a new kind of pain
I just wish I knew another way