Constantine

This song is dedicated to my late friend Constantine
Who hung himself at the age of twelve
Miss you man

I often think about what could have been
The kind of man you woulda turned into
Is more than friend
You were my brother back then
And part of thinks that after I sink
Inside my coffin you'd be darkness defence
But listen 'Tine, yeah

There's some things I gotta know
Why'd you do it?
Why'd you feel you couldn't speak to me, bro?
I know that we was only young back then
No fucking luck back then
But that's everyone that grows up's bed
You gotta lie in it

I felt lost and almost like you were just lying and
No matter how much thought processin' I did
It didn't feel like you were gone
Until one night when I cried until the morning
At nineteen by the fire

And that was eight years after you departed
I'm living guarded from the truth
No part of me knew
How much I bottled up the past
But it blew into a problem
Ripped my heart into two
I miss my brother like (you taught me love)

You taught me love
Oh, what a gift (oh what a gift)
I know that it's hard
Too hard to forget
And to be honest if I were you
I'd share the same fate
To be honest if I were you
I'd have done the same thing too

You were my go to when my times got tough
When skies turn blood
I dialled up the guy that I loved, shit
I couldn't tell you all the things that you've missed
The birth of my kids, the hurt that I lived
The worst years when with Jess

I needed you then to keep my head level
Weather the stress
Needed your hand when my nana died
And turned into specks of dust
Pressure is building up
But betcha these pills will stop needing you
Kill the thoughts and pain, 'Tine

My mental health has run away
I ain't the same guy
All I want is to feel the way I did before the day I
Lost my brother to his demons
Wish I could have been inside your head
I swear I'd clean up all of your feelings

So how'd you go from full of life
And talking all that's enabled
To laying down dead cold
On an autopsy table?
I don't know, I couldn't give you the answer
But this song is for my brother
I miss you and wish you love, uh (you taught me love)

You taught me love
Oh, what a gift (oh, what a gift)
I know that it's hard
Too hard to forget
And to be honest if I were you
I'd share the same fate
To be honest if I were you
I'd have done the same thing too

So how'd we get here, twenty years later
The fear and pain is the nearest I think of clearing away
Don't wanna think about your death everyday
And to be honest don't remember you face
I can't remember how your vocal chords sound with the bass

There's just a hole
Where you should have been standing in place
By my side we were partners in crime
And now there's no tears left in my eyes
Think I'm finished with crying
I want my life back, give me it, 'Tine

I can't deny I miss you each and every day
I wouldn't give up thinking 'bout you
But I gotta let you rest
Gotta get my head back on track
To where it is best
And be a father to all three of my kids

My mission is if I can help guys with mental health
I've given wealth
Sliced the entire outcry of suicidal self-harm
And we can build on a better living outcome
Thank yourself, Con

You taught me love (you taught me love)
Oh, what a gift (oh, what a gift)
I know that it's hard
Too hard to forget
And to be honest if I were you
I'd share the same fate
To be honest if I were you
I'd have done the same thing too