Unconfident (Stage Four: Depression)

Looking at myself I'm disgusted
Fucked up my reflection can't be trusted
Dusted my old self off trying be the old me
Find that I'm blind no identity
Can't see the pain in my eyes
I'm adept at creating illusions
Proving a point while the world keep moving
I feel like they laughing that's why I keep losing
Try ta measure up to they standards when in reality I passed theirs a long time ago
I don't know why I care so damn much
But I'm tough on myself cause I won't grow
And I got the option to make it happen for real
Don't even know how to feel
Cause I let the world think for me
Insecurity on display I may as well kneel
Thinking what am I doing
Ashamed to show loved ones that I got talent
Choosing to promo to people that I really don't know
In my hometown not trying to do shows
Bro I swear you don't know
Play it off good when I'm around people who don't know me
My genre a secret to associates I don't interact with phony
If I'm being real with myself then I gotta tell myself bitch you better stand up
Face the world like the man that you tell your son that you want him to be
Nigga man up
Chin up to the sky be arrogant to the bystanders this your story
Your timeline your incline or decline yo show nigga you maury
You the one who say you wanna be so great so why you act so mediocre
You ain't even got started but you giving up settling do you want it to be over
Put your armor on give it a hundred percent till this shit pay the rent
Naysayer's salaries wouldn't make a dent in your pockets wouldn't even cover the lint
So what you spent two years on a chase that ended in separation
You want this kiss your old life goodbye wave when the train leave the station
Freebasing on my own product I'm that good but I'm still pacing
Violating my fan's motivation cause I'm search of affirmation

I'm looking into the darkness
But I'm not afraid of what I gotta face
Now I feel the rage

In the darkness without LEDs that ironically dim my atmosphere
Although fountains that bring life are near only lava and volcanoes reappear
I steer clear of obstacles, but they reposition themselves as soon as I make a move
Gargoyles my mind's choice of illusion stand ins for people who disapprove
Lord knows my feet are weary but I continue to press on
Breaking through the silicone gel that seals my lifelong confessions
My Stetson tilted on a rainy corner unnoticed because I've never been seen
By circles one two or three I was outside searching for the One Ring
Hurtling through the void of civilization don't feel like I'm its resident
Chained to introverted island a prisoner and my bail cost is confidence