Inner Demons

I'm sorry mom
Forgive me dad
I didn't wanna go
I couldn't move on from the past
Always told me stay strong boy you can make it
Now I'm resting six feet under
Boy I didn't make it
It's a shame
My life seemed okay
But little did you know how much I've wanted to say hey
I'm not feeling so well
I can feel it in my chest
I just wanna fucking rest
I just wanna fucking live
I just wanna fucking die
Why can't I fucking decide
Why does my depression take control
I just want to realize that I'm alright
And I got nothing to worry about
Then my head told me to
Put a bullet through my mouth

Can't complain
I got everything I need
All I need is success
Need to get it 'fore I bleed
From a deed I did myself
I'm hurting 'cause I hurt myself
It feels like I got no one else
Even though I got myself a few
Brothers and sisters that really care
But sometimes it feels like no ones is really there
I feel like casper watching all these people share
While in the deeps I roll around and feel scared
Yeah

How will I die
Will it be a suicide or die at home
A homicide
Swear I don't wanna pick a side
But either way I got no choice
My brain has its own little voice
Asks what the fuck is the whole point
You're just a weakling at gunpoint
You don't deserve to have a breath
You'll just end up like Macbeth
Maybe die like Malcolm X
The fuck I know I'm not the best
And I do try to be content
And half the time I do prevent
Some bad events that do descent
And then there's times I straight up vent
And say some shit I never meant
And saw the friends that fucking left
And then I felt it in my chest

Yeah yeah
It's just around that fucking time that I confess I'm not alright
I got a demon by my side
That makes me wanna go and hide
And cry a river from my eyes and
Throw my halo into fire 'cause I
Ain't a bloody angel
Sinned enough to make it fatal
I just can't be fucking stable
Even if I turn the table
Lemme tell a little story
Happened not too long ago
Before I start don't even worry
This shit wasn't meant for show
But here we start in my blue room
Making music we assume
Writing songs in my costume of happy child in his tomb
I was chillin in my groove
Working on a song or two
Home alone was when I flowed
But my parents had no clue on what I was about to do
But nor did I in their defense
I just knew I'm overdue for an attack then I got tense
Then I felt it in my chest
Felt my demon go intense
I yelled let me fucking rest
But he hurt me with some zest
Then I turned and fucking fought
And threw a punch and then got caught
Deep in his evil fucking powers
At this point I got devoured
I lost all control
And he was so cold
Told me pick it up
And told me pull the trig-