Forgive Me

Who gonna forgive
Y'all don't even get me
How I been feeling
Kinda shitty
Never going outside
Staying in ya me time
No 100s I reckon
What's my favorite place
What's my favorite face
I don't even wanna wait
I don't even got an escape
Ya I'm shut in, watching YouTube, not even buggin
No Plans I got nothing, stare at my Tv ya I'm something
Loser, gamer? Athletic, sleeper, No keeper
No standards to meet either
Steps of life keep getting only Steeper
Choose bad choices at my on Leisure
I don't bother asking for help
Flow of life a conveyer belt
No snitch I'm sure you tell
For everything I've done I'm sure I'm going to hell
Running from problems, I fell
Sleep paralysis got me frozen, I Can't yell
I can't
I can't

I never understood why I can't Catch up
Stumbled about everything that's Called stuck
Constantly losing I call that bad Luck
Keep talking to myself
That's what's up
Maybe I should train
Maybe stay in lane
Maybe not bother with anything In vain
Incredibly insecure that's my Brain
Maybe stay as a side I'm not a Main
Tell me otherwise I just don't Wanna get played
I got trust issues I don't remember how they made
I don't understand how I'm so Calm but insane
I use a facades to hide my Thoughts
I can't hide away I have no locks
I write a bunch but I have writers block
Run away from problems I'd Rather not walk
Stay silent all day cause I don't wanna talk
All these scenarios play in my Mind
Think of the worse and press Rewind
People tell me I'm one of a kind
But I feel like I'm just another Guy
I always wondered why
Blank expression oh that's mine
That's always such a surprise
It's got me like Oh my

Life is suppose to be challenging
And I never completely Understood how I'm managing
How do I go through days Without planning anything
The cycle repeats
I'd rather not need
I'd rather not be seen
My heart keeps beating
Maybe I should add some spices
No escape I have no license
Passing through decisions
I don't understand what I'm Missing
I wanna try all I can
But I never seem to go as I plan
I hide from my feelings because I'm scared of who I am
I don't even know what to feel
I don't even know what's my deal
How do I know if the life I'm Living is real

It's all fake
I don't care
Why am I here
It's never been clear
I'll take a look in the mirror and Make my reflection disappear
Shards of memories that haunt Me
How do I deal with something so Daunting
How do I deal with demons that Caught me
I think it's been too long surely You lost me
Keeping
I'm locked in
I'm lost in
My mind
What's on your conscious
Acting so cautious
Deceivingly honest
I'll talk to you but you aren't Responsive
I thought you surely lost it
Drops of your mind it's a facet
Is it I'm growing more insane
Is it that's putting it plain
What's my aim
What's my game
Why the fuck does every day feel The same

I'm heading off track
I didn't plan to do that
I think I've finally snapped
I'm tired of the crap
Provoked, angry, and ready to Attack
And all of that is no cap
Some plain face angry beast in Need of taming or a feast
To finally bring him some peace
That's what he needs
No replies everybody seems to Be busy
Ya no kidding
I'm just sitting
Not missing
I've heard enough