Suitcase of Sexuality

Finding the corners of this room
Expanding outside of who I've been
Taking a sledgehammer through those walls
Let some sun
Shine in

My hands are dirty and calloused
My nails are painted and glittered
Built up walls of resentment
And that's where all my guilt lingers
Masculine expectations I never met them
I'm
Nervous and anxious, uncomfortable constantly
Conversations with my dad
Asking if I'm a fag
Or just looking like this to piss him off
The smile on my mom's
Face when she finds out I liked girls
When I turned 13,
Sexuality's been
Tabooed and silenced
Tattoos and violence
Admiring innocents
Desiring gentle touch
To be hugged, from the people I love
That hug, that could always last a little longer
"Toughen up boy, be stronger!"
Super silly me, never taught vulnerability
Wish they told me to shoot for the stars
My heroes were shooting up in the backs of cars
Now I wish upon a star to be without
Expectation
Without
"Be a man"
Ringing in my ears
Man I hate this

Finding the corners of this room
Expanding outside of who I've been
Taking a sledgehammer through those walls
Let some sun
Shine in

My suitcase modern vintage
Covered in band stickers
Packed floral patterned dresses that my Grandma wore
My suitcase never ending
Gender bending
Packed with dads mud covered boots
Conversations wish I had more
Feeling jealous and poor
Feeling hella support
This identity war
I seek peace through the things I can see through
Betta fish swim in circles
I still need you to feed me
Flakes of feeling fine enough to finish up my day
Endless eye contact as I sway
With strangers while contra dancing
Promenade I
Balance and swing
I'm Alice when asleep
I count psychedelic sheep
In organic cotton sheets
See me open my suitcase of sexuality
That's packed with
Misunderstanding
Misleading mistletoes missing out
Mr, Mrs misogyny
Mistakes, misplaced, miscellaneous faith
And no
God to speak

Finding the corners of this room
Expanding outside of who I've been
Taking a sledgehammer through those walls
Let some sun
Shine in



Credits
Writer(s): Myles Bullen
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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