17 Million F**k-Offs

On the 23rd of June in 2016
The people of the United Kingdom - and Gibraltar - went to vote
On an issue that for some had been burning for years
The question in full - and unaltered - was - and I quote
Should the United Kingdom remain
A member of the European Union
Or leave
The European Union
It was the greatest democratic turnout in British history, I do not scoff
And when the time came to speak the British said fuck off

Campaigning had gone on for many a month
With debate and discussion on many a front
They'd argued they'd fought they'd smeared and pulled stunts
There was David Cameron. Theresa May. George Osborne
Tony Blair. John Major. The BBC
The British told them to fuck off. The British told them to fuck off

If you vote to leave, you'll lose your job
Vote to leave, you'll lose your home.
The ensuing recession will last for years
Said David Cameron. Theresa May. George Osborne
And the Treasury. Tony Blair. John Major. The BBC
The Bank of England. Mark Carney. The EU. The IMF
The US president. Saint Obama. Back of the cue
Loads of celebrities. Gary Lineker. JK Rowling. Benedict Cumbertwat
Lord Adonis. Who the fuck's he anyway
The British told them to fuck off. Seventeen million fuck offs

They wheeled in the experts to tell us what's right
They gave us the benefit of their foresight
To leave is calamitous, that's definite
Food shortages. No medicine. Planes grounded
A house price crash. Half a million jobs lost
Cost of four thousand three hundred pounds to every home
Riots. Stock market collapse. No sandwiches
There'd be an outbreak of super gonorrhea
They seriously said that
Donald Tusk at the EU said
It would be the end of Western civilisation as we know it
I'm not joking. And one more thing
If you vote to leave, that makes you racist
The British told them to fuck off. Seventeen million fuck offs

A General Election was finally called
I think you know where told them to go
We won't have to hear from them ever again
From
Tony Blair, John Major, Jon Bercow
I can't tell you how much pleasure it gives me to say that
Jo Swinson. LOL
All those MPs who switched parties without holding a bi-election
Chuka Umana, Sarah Wollaston, Anna Soubry, Not a Nazi
All the MPs who did the opposite of what they promised in their manifestos
Dominic Grieve, David Gauke, Ken Clarke, Philip Hammond
Oliver Letwin, Ed Vaizey - dick
All those patronising Labour MPs who know so much better than you
Emily Thornberry, Diane Abbot, Jess Philips
That weird one with glasses, Jeremy Corbyn (Oh, bless)
Hilary Benn. Hilary's a girl's name. What's that all about
The civil service, The Bank of England, The People's Vote
The EU, Most of Hackney
Bent judges, Guy Verhofstad, Emmanuel Macron
The commentariat, James O'Brien, Jolyon Moron
The BBC Andrew Marr, Femi Weirdo, Aaron Bastani. Gina Miller
All the celebrities, Hugh Grant, Gay Lineker, Lily Allen
Steve Coogan, Nish Kumar - comedian
Lord Adonis - who the fuck's he anyway
The British told you fuck off. 17 million fuck-offs