Buns 'N' Roses

Roses, glorious roses
Lovingly planted fruit of the land
Fresh milk, creamy and frothy
Straight from my dairy, squeezed by my hand

Ribbons, colorful ribbons
Truly a rainbow, simply divine
Hot buns, check out my hot buns
True, there are not buns equal to mine

Oh, quelle belle matinee
Oh, quelle belle journee

Ah, I see you're admiring my buns, child
I can't afford one, sir
Then have one on me
For no one goes hungry in Belleville!
Cor! Thank you, sir!

Another day in paradise
In our town so picturesque
Every other seems grotesque
Forgive us if we brag a bit
Folks from Paris and Berlin
All are begging to get in

For forty-nine amazing years
We've won the Most Attractive Town
And international renown

Our citizens are works of art
Everyone a chiseled god
With a ripped and rockin' bod

This burg's been handed every accolade
We've charm no other village offers
We're so dependent on the tourist trade
To fill our cupboards and our coffers

For forty-nine amazing years
There's no town that can compete
Frankly, if they could we'd cheat
Our livelihood depends on it
Travelers bless us with their feet
They don't come then we don't eat

Wishing on a wishing well
A secret wish I shall not tell
Though my little bird has overheard
It will not breathe a word
Longing for a prince who's kind and sweet
To chimney sweep me off my feet
Tell me little friend, and be discreet
When will he—
Ow! Oh the little bastard bit me

We keep our dirty laundry out of sight
The town of Belleville is perfection
There's not a villager with cellulite
There's not one blotch on one complexion

For forty-nine amazing years
We've won the Most Attractive Town
And international renown
The fiftieth is in the bag
And if we don't win it's plain
Belleville's going down the drain

We hail our queen, her majesty
Her agelessness, her timelessness
Her effervescence, her incandescence

Hello, my darling peasants
And His Royal Highness, Prince Sebastian
Hiya

What a disappointment is this prince
Look at him, my heart can't help but wince
He's not the type on which girls set their sights
Well, maybe if she squints and dims the lights

Once we had the hottest prince of all
Then he disappeared, he went AWOL
Now his nerdy brother must step in
How I really wish he had a chin

Prince Charming was a major hunk
Truly lived up to his name
Put the current prince to shame
His lips could launch a thousand ships
And those sparkling teeth and eyes
Don't forget those strapping thighs

Prince Charming was engaged and soon to wed
Went to slay a dragon, now he's dead
Leaving his fiancé drenched in tears
And our pretty city in arrears

I've built this tribute to my dear late son
A statue of my boy in action
This world class masterpiece at last is done
Should be a lucrative attraction

For forty-nine amazing years
Though it's unlike us to boast
Every other town is toast
The fiftieth is in the bag

Though our deficit is high
With more upkeep than Versailles
We mourn our prince, Prince Charming
All his manliness, his flawlessness
His yumminess, his gorgeousness
His mightiness, Prince Charming

Women, avert your eyes
The horror!
Is it a cock?
I'm going to be sick

This is a disgrace!
To deface Prince Charming's memorial statue with such an enormous phallus!
I will not be awarding Belleville the prize