Ballad of a Wife Beater

Oh my my children
Do I have one hell of a story for you

I beat my wife, I beat my wife
She cannot handle it
I beat my wife, I beat my wife
She cannot handle it
I beat my wife, I beat my wife
She is very very dead, oh this has taken a dark turn.

She is buried under the house
She is very dead. The dog tried to burry the bones but the cops found her
They asked me... what is this woman doing here? And I said

Uh It appears there is a body under the house
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, my wife is dead
Holy shit, holy moly, wow thats really bad shes really dead
Oh my god her bones are right there uh theres no warmth its completely cold

Oh my, I told the cops that she had died many years ago
No she definitely didn't because uh like you can see right there
Like theres still flesh on her
So she died very recently
And I was like oh boy, buddy boy, do I have a story for you

That is dark, that is dark, super super dark
Wow, oh my god, oh my god, arrest that woman
Holy moly that is bad, holy bow, wow, wow that is bad oh my goodness
Please kill her please put her to death
She is a bad woman she killed my wife now im very sad

And the dog is a bad bad boy he found the bones, I MEAN i
It's, good boy cause you found the bones now we know who the killer is haha

See officer I am innocent It was the coffee shop lady I know
Alright you know what, its not worth it anymore, just take me
I killed her, yeah, I abused her a lot shes very dead. Very very dead
I beat her forever. Shes very dead, i'm sorry

Its kinda funny though cause like, shes dead n stuff
Shes dead