.Deadself

Everything is changing
The way I look
The way I feel
A new face looks back in the mirror
New words form on the page
Unfamiliar, completely surreal
Emotions like tidal waves
Am I just beating a dead horse?

I can't help but spew the same old trope
My voice changes with each added note
I just hung it from a different rope
Reused and abused with no home

I feel everything and nothing

And I know I've got a long way to go
And I know I've got a lot of seeds to sow
There's no looking back at the bridges past
I burned them
Long ago

I cut you off like a cancer
Misdiagnosed but untreatable
Now you haunt me as an aimless ghost
Bringing sleepless nights with no antidote
You're an illness too small to detect
Bringing sickness and a painful death
Lurking just below the skin you rest
Waiting for the day you will be met

Waiting for the day you'll put me to rest

You're a stone tied around my neck
As I leap overboard
You're the bucket that I stand on
Just beside a hole in the floor
Counting down the seconds left
That I have just in time to realize
I should have had more