Is That What You Wanted?

I've got negative 1000 inside my account
My rent is coming up in a week
And my lights are out
But I've got too much pride for me to ask around
So I just keep the shit to myself
I'm too fucking proud

My neighbors complaining my music is too fucking loud
So I crank it up a bit, how's it fucking now
If you've got something to say then don't just fucking shout
Why don't you come up to my door
So I can punch you out?

I've been dealing with stress
I'm depressed
Telling everyone I'm blessed
I'm upset
I want you to be impressed
But look at the way I dress
A fucking hoodie and sweats
Ain't no Gucci or jewelry
My fucking life is a mess

But that's the way that you like it
So I guess I've gotta be it
You don't just want me to sing a record
You want me to scream it
You fucking hate when I'm happy
Don't lie to me cuz I see it
Well you're about to love this record
Yo I guarantee it!

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
If I'm being real it's really hard to write this
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this
(Is that what you wanted)

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
Are you doing fine and my response is I guess
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this

(Is that what you wanted)

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
You look in my eyes and you can tell I'm lifeless
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this

Is that what you wanted, umm
Did I fucking stutter
Answer 'for I come out your speakers
Before they rupture
I don't believe in luck
I believe in skill and structure
Or aiming lyrics at my ex
Until they killed and crushed her

Now I have to live with that
They'll put that shit on my grave
Nathan but she cheated on you
That excuse is fucking lame
Because we were fucking kids
Driving each other insane
I sold my soul to the devil
Just to get some fucking plays

How many times you think I said fuck in this song already
To make it worse I'd probably just get on a song with Freddy
So what's the topic
Um, probably blondes and machetes
Sorry for switching the topic
I'm myopic in this setting

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
If I'm being real it's really hard to write this
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this
(Is that what you wanted)

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
Are you doing fine and my response is I guess
I've gotta lot of problems to get off of my chest (Is that what you wanted)

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
You look in my eyes and you can tell that I'm lifeless
I live my life but I don't think I'll survive this

I don't know if it's what I wanted
But this is what I got
I feel like I ate something funny
My stomach's all in knots
Cuz I hate being vulnerable
I don't wanna fucking talk
But what good is a novel
If it don't got a fucking plot

Yeah I started from the bottom
Now I'm aiming for the top
Found some treasure in a coffin
Now I'm tryna pick the lock
People telling me
That happiness isn't something that's bought
I'd rather be what I am
Then try to be what I'm not

See I woke up on the floor
From taking pills I just popped
And vodka that I was drinking with homies
We're taking shots
Some throw up is on the floor
And this motherfucker just walks over
Puts his hand on my shoulder and says
Is this really what you wanted

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
If I'm being real it's really hard to write this
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
Are you doing fine and my response is I guess
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this

I'm not the same as I was when I was
Just a kid and it's a lot to digest
You look in my eyes and you can tell I'm lifeless
If I'm being real, I don't know why I'm like this