A Family Christmas

Our family's a bit crazy
Yeah crazy to say the least
You are deceased or headed east
Before the end of our feast

Pajama fleece
Some Roasted Geese
And some rolls with out yeast
Are sure to make you say a prayer down on your knees

But now in Covid days
There's a major craze
It will bring the heat
Like a summer blaze
No David Blane
Yeah we here to stay
Political Talk
Goes on for days

The tensions tight
Oh what a sight
With our aunt and our mom
It is fight night

So here we go
Go through the roll
Without further a due
Here's our uncle joe

I'm Uncle Joe
Well now you Know
No one knows what I do
But I got the dough
And I got the flow
I got seven toes
Every week I mow
Can't stand the snow
Used to have a fro
Know how to sew
That's a bit about me and now you know

This covid thing
Is making me a bit crazy
Yeah super lazy
Thing I'm doing lately
Is online shopping
But just at Macy's

Guess I could just take a walk
Stop and smell
And pick some daisies

Didn't even know I could bust a rhyme
But now I'm out of time
Like some wind chimes

Let me pass the mic right
To your cousin Sal
Oh wait here he is
Here he is now

Cousin Sal in the house say HEY-YA
HEY-YA (Everyone)
HEY-YA (Just Sal)
And I'm sleeping on the couch say HEY-YA
NO-WAY-YA (everyone)
HEY-YA (Just Sal)

Tested negative
For the covid kid
I promise yeah
I'm positive

Why you hesitant
We relatives
There's no need
To be sensitive

You festive kid
And decretive
You kinda look fly
Like a pelican

Don't mean to diss
Please don't dismiss
Oh man you guys
Oh did I miss

Let's take a break
And make a plate
You know it's time to celebrate

Now who's that guy
Up on the wall
Wait who'd you say
Your neighbor Paul

I'm your neighbor Paul
Hello Y'all
I collect action figures... not dolls

In this time of need
I stay strapped
Not 1, not 2, but three masks

I know these masks you
Don't love
But stop I'll show what you'll
Be sick of

Here comes the lady of the hour
Your mammy with that grammy power

Hello my names mammy
I'm the oldest in the family
Oh look at you two boys everyday
You're getting manly

You want a hard sucking candy
That would be nice
But remove your mask boi
And I'll punch out your lights

Your mom is in the house
Trying to clean up everything
Better get the door
If you hear the doorbell ring

Clean up your room
Why do I tell you every hour
What is that smell
Did you even take a shower

Your aunt is going nuts
She is on my nerve
She can't even drive
She parked up on the curb

You better go get dressed
You better make it quick
Why am I so stressed
I think I might be sick

I figured I'd have a better day
But with covid this year I feel insane
Our family usually is a pain
But this year I got chest pains

Holy cow this was a holiday
One for the books what can I say
Jingle all the way
Watch for Santa's sleigh
We wish you all
A merry Christmas day