van life

I just want to live in a van for a year
And travel the country, disappear
But that would mean committing to a plan for more than two weeks
I said I was done lying to myself
So I'll admit I'm too weak
I'm too weak

But to be honest I don't buy that for a second
I'm just selfish and lazy and high all the time
I'm high all the time

But it's not like I don't constantly waste it
When I'm breathing in and then breathing out again
Holding my breath just to make the time worth it
I don't think that I quite want to die yet
Some people say the lowest level's quite nice
Seems unlikely but maybe I'll be a bird next time

But to be honest I don't buy it for a second
I'll just slip into oil, and cease to exist
I'll cease to exist
But not my Facebook page and I'll be pissed
Well no I won't cause now, now
Now I can't feel shit

Within 20 years no one will speak my name
We will quickly disappear from the conscious mind of those who remain
So I'll plug my ears and I'll hold my breath and squeeze my eyelids shut
Turn out the lights
Slip into lukewarm water and

I'll ask myself in the dark
Is this what it feels like to die
I'll ask myself in disguise
Is this what it feels like to die
I'll ask myself in your bed
Is this what it feels like to die
I am asking myself in my head
Is this what it feels like to die