April Showers

Ain't April showers supposed to bring with it flowers?
I've been feeling like I'm drowning
I've been feeling like I'm drowning, oh
Can no longer stay afloat
I'm no longer buoyant, it get potent
When this tempest get to going, throw me overboard
Back when I was younger, used to jump in these puddles
Now I'm feeling submerged up under reoccurring struggles
That's the flow
Anchored to a sea of emotions that I ain't mastered
Though I'm masterful at deflecting feelings
I'm feeling closer to the person that I know from years ago
I can't let him go
In general, I'm tethered to a contract that was never broken
(Feeling hopeless)
Quick, stay focused! Write a song, be real, be open
(Feeling worthless)
Braggadocious, over boasting
Convoluting any of the slightest notions that I'm not 100 percent
I'm feeling trapped in my skin
I feel confined inside the same lines that I'm rhyming within
For real, I'm losing my grip
The rope thrown out to save me, safely fastening round my neck
Told me hang on, but I'm hanging by a thread
Not a threat, just don't wanna have to go through this again
Yeah I said, I'm hanging on by a thread
That's not a threat, I just don't wanna have to do this again
Again? Dang

I feel the rain on my skin
I'm suffocating as the waves come overtake me again
They overtake me again
Overtake me again
They overtake me again, again, again, again
These April showers bringing me flowers
But I'm feeling like I'm drowning
Feels like I'm drowning
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no, no, no, no

These April showers been wilding
I need a moment of silence
(Silence, silence, silence, silence)
I need a moment of silence
Cause when these thoughts get intrusive, I just don't know what to do
Only 5'2 tryna swim, in the deep end of this pool
But waves are crashing, people laughing, so I stay there choking
Hoping they notice. Empty, molded this shell of a person
I'm so confused, I turn to music when I feel I'm hurting
Was therapeutic, now it's useless, I don't feel it working

And so I'm crying out into a dark and black abyss
The water's taller now, the showers flooding in again
I'm a lot calmer now, I just accept it as the end
But I'm still calling out
Will you reach me in time friend?

Crying for hours (Hours, hours)
These April (April, April)
Showers (Showers, showers)
April Showers