Opposite Day

"There's seven different movies at the city multiplex
Let's both not go to school today and give the brain a rest
You can't say missing one day could be taken seriously
You can be sure that no one will tell either families."
She thought about it for a while, let go her old school bag
"O.K," she told him, "I'm with you." Both teachers said: "Let's wag."

That day Constable Harrison was browsing city streets
He walked along commandingly up and down Swanston Street
A skateboarding kid flew right down the railings of St Paul's
"Filthy move," said Con. Harrison, "But, hold on - duty calls."
He walked right into Brashes and he walked out suspiciously
"Here," he told the skateboarding kid, "just flogged you this C.D."

The kid just pushed his dreadlocks back and looked up in surprise
All he saw was a drug crazed stare deep in the policeman's eyes
"I'm disappointed in you, dude," the skater told the cop
"If we all had your attitude, it would be just great - not
I'm gonna let you off this once, but just you look out, son
Next time I'll call the cops, my boy." "Like, I care," said Harrison

Harrison at the city looked - these were the real clean streets
Gangs of polite teenagers played rap songs like Help da Police
The new gardens were growing where the casino once stood
The trains, they ran bang smack on time, and people thought they would
Husbands sat in discrete cafes and flirted with their wives
"I'll give you head" all girlfriends said "Don't worry" said the guys

Opposite Day
Opposite Day
Opposite Day

Harrison saw the teachers both and said "Shouldn't you be at school?"
"Yeah, that's right cop." the teachers said and Harrison said: "Cool."
"Got any dope?" the policeman asked, and then he looked disgusted
Cause both teachers admitted "Nope." That's right folks they're busted
"I'm taking a dim view of this." The teachers' faces paled
They wouldn've been in trouble with a cop from New South Wales.

"I'm taking you back home right now - don't dare not call me pig
And you can explain why you were caught drug free to your kids."
I hope this is a lesson that all of you understand
Wag school, and the next thing you know, you're in a paddie van
You can imagine, I suppose, the scene in the kitchen
The teenage sons and daughters weep, the teachers think, "Bitchin'"

What's become of our social state, when it has come to this?
A teenage child just can't control their folks' rebelliousness?
Later that night the youngest child sat reading in her bed
"Don't stay up late" she told her mum and to her self she said
"I've heard that once in primary school they had Opposite Day
Where what you said and what you meant both went two different ways

"So if you liked someone you said "I think you really suck,"
And then said "On opposite day!" - that meant they were in luck
But imagine if this happened not just in primary school
And everywhere and everyone followed this kiddie rule
Imagine an opposite world, though it is hard to do
Newspapers for illiterates, Leaders say untruths

"The best people this world ignores while the brats it coddles
Rockstars are seen as serious - also supermodels
In this world the actors would be treated as if they're kings
And ordinary folks would just be like anonymous nothings."
The little girl put down her book, and rest her sleepy head
"But that world could never exist. Thank you, Satan," she said