Mixed Messages

It's Sunday night and you're at home all alone
Last night was great, it was our very first date
So now it's time to pull out my phone

Gonna send you somethin' real quick
It ain't gonna be a dick pick, no, no
Romance needs clarity
But baby, that don't work for me, I'm sendin'

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I send the first text in a cute way (cute way)
And then I don't reply for seven fuckin' days, yeah

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Oh, you text me what night am I free
And I reply, "Yes", Full stop

I send you a littlе smiley face (smiley facе)
So you send me back a little smiley face (little smiley face)
And then I say, "Hey," and so you write back, "Hey"
And I say, "Hey what?" (Hey what?)
And you say, "You said 'hey' first"
And I say, "Okay (okay)
'Croissant emoji', fuck you"

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
One second, I say you're very pretty (very pretty)
And then I show up at your house and I kick your dog, yeah

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I pay for the dog's veterinary bills
But then I punch your dad in the dick

Now we're going to a hospital
Just me, you, and your dad in the back of an ambulance
And even with your dad's broken dick
The air is thick with (sexual tension)

I'm really sorry for punchin' your dad in the dick
I won't do it again
You make me shake his hands and promise
But as I do, I ball up my other fist and I

Punch your dad in the dick again (dick again)
I punch your dad in his broken dick again
You think I'm sexy, I'm being mysterious
Sending you these weird mixed messages

You say, "Stop punchin' my dad's dick"
I say, "Okay," but then I wink
So you grab both of my hands quick
Stopping my third attempt to punch your dad's dick

Oh, baby, you've played this game before
Too bad, I've played a little bit more
You got my both my hands, so I use my head
I headbutt your dad's pants in the back of an ambulance

And between the headbutts
Our eyes lock as we're holding hands
And we can't help but kiss over your dad's not once
Twice, thrice broken dick

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I say I love you in a cute way
And then I punch your dad's dick every day

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Tell your dad that I'm sorry
But then punch him in his dick again (what, what, what)