The Candidate

Excuse me sir, do you have a moment
To help me save the fortunes of this land
I've a plan for the future
But you know it's up to you sir
It's time to draw a line in the sand

You know how you know you can trust me?
Because I'm shouting with the loudest voice
I have only good intentions
Just don't ask too many questions
And you never will regret your choice

Are you tired of the experts?
Are you tired of the fear?
Are you tired of the scientists' lies?
Don't listen to their warning
There's no such thing as global warming
In fact I think it snowed last July

You know I'm a man of the people
Just as long as they're rich, male, and white
I'm the only one in the land who
Can really understand you
I'll always stick up for your rights

But don't get me wrong I love all people
The gays, the Jews, the Muslims as well
But my One God is the right one
He's the good and Christian white one
And if you disagree you're going to Hell

I don't beg, steal, or borrow
I'm virtuous and kind
My sanctimony only proves I care
But Leviticus and I
Say an eye for an eye
So break my law I'll send you to the chair