Train to Hell

I have a new man, he is patient with me
When I bite off my tongue and lie through my teeth
And tell him I'm sure even though I just want to be
And I know he gets sick of me apologizing
I wish I was better but I just can't stop crying
And he deserves someone who talks about love like they know what it means

But if being here is a selfish act
Then I'll take the train to Hell
Leave behind my Bible, bring a coin for the ferryman
'Cause I got no soul left to sell
And yeah, that's the shit that gets me in trouble
It's all or nothing now
Hold my shaking hand as I'm going down

I start drinking earlier every day now
Only talk 'bout my feelings when I've got a few shots down
And I know that's a problem
Even though you forgive me every time
But you are intangible, a voice through a screen
Would you love me this much if you really knew me
In the way that the others did
In the way that made them want to leave

But if being here is a selfish act
Then I'll take the train to Hell
Leave behind my Bible, bring a coin for the ferryman
'Cause I got no soul left to sell
And yeah, that's the shit that gets me in trouble
It's all or nothing now
Hold my shaking hand as I'm going down

You promise that you're fine
With all this wicked rot inside my spine

But if being here is a selfish act
Then I'll take the train to Hell
Leave behind my Bible, bring a coin for the ferryman
'Cause this is just going so well
And yeah, that's the shit that gets me in trouble
It's all or nothing now
Hold my shaking hand as I'm going down