Father

They say time heals all but I don't believe it
This pain that I'm feeling I doubt it'll ever leave me
Cos I wasn't there for you in your time of need
I Should of never have left I should of stayed that whole week
Even if it was your time at least I would of been there
By your side tryna get you to smile
Who knows my presence might of even been enough
To keep you fighting for a while longer you know what's fucked
I had a nightmare about this completely dismissed it
Half a decade ago but that imagine was always vivid
Never thought our family live it it felt so surreal
Love to hear you where optimistic threw out that day but that's is you
Heart of gold rarer still the purest of all stones
If I can be half the man you are believe me Imma glow
Brighter then any star circling our solar system
Everything happens for a reason but this I ain't getting

If there's such thing as the after life the spirit world
I know your looking down us we'll do you proud
That's right we'll do you proud that's right we'll do you proud
That's right that's right
If there's such thing as the after life the spirit world
I know your looking down us we'll do you proud
That's right we'll do you proud that's right we'll do you proud
That's right that's right

Can't believe my little brother called me saying you might die
Replied I was close stayed calm on the line
But as soon as he cut off I freak the fuck up
Began hyperventilating I physically fell paralyzed
The sheer terror in my mind
Raced to my heart I've never been so scared
Never felt so brittle that hellish nightmare
Kept replaying in my mental I'm Whispering it's not fair
Tryna grasp my composure and the situation
Our family is facing my rage is inflaming
I didn't help that I fucking missed the train fam
On the switch over my brain ticked over
The world just crumbled The dejavu was stronger
Why would she divorce you you've always been humble
Supportive loyal a real gentleman
This don't make any sense na This can't be the end

If there's such thing as the after life the spirit world
I know your looking down us we'll do you proud
That's right we'll do you proud that's right we'll do you proud
That's right that's right
If there's such thing as the after life the spirit world
I know your looking down us we'll do you proud
That's right we'll do you proud that's right we'll do you proud
That's right that's right

After an agonizing 20 minutes for a 3 minute journey
Which never felt so long before the seconds turned to century's
Eventually I got to yours tryna block out the thought
Of reality without you but her perspective was
As I approached The front door saw my brother standing there
I asked him what's going on
Sorry say that again uh no it's he not
You thought I broke down earlier well this was disintegration
Passed it's highest level the numbness was insensible
If I could switch places I would do
But you wouldn't that would you you'd tell me stay strong
Not to blame myself I love you very much son
That goes for the both of you you guys are my world
Look after your mum make sure she lives well
And that's what will do no questions asked
I value from this day to get my ass in check
Every move that I make will be calculated step
Toward success no what no more half heartedness
Can't be asked to ass around exercising excuses
Executing my downfall destroying my future
You raised us better then that why would I disregard your nurturing
Especially now could never doubt your integrity
As a human been and as a father especially
That why I've gotta do this I refuse to disappoint you

If there's such thing as the after life the spirit world
I know your looking down us we'll do you proud
That's right we'll do you proud that's right we'll do you proud
That's right that's right
If there's such thing as the after life the spirit world
I know your looking down us we'll do you proud
That's right we'll do you proud that's right we'll do you proud
That's right that's right