Warmth

I curl up in the corner of my bed and listen, on repeat
To the song that was playing when you first told me you had feelings for me
I overanalyze each word and feel the icy passion
That fills my veins with every strum of the guitar
But then I remember how good morning texts
That were topped with a smile and a heart
Became glancing hellos followed by being left on delivered for hours
And instead of having small talks about the things we love
It became short chats that were much more sour
Compliments became an oasis in the desert
My affection became something that I should've preserved
Like a misbalanced see-saw, we became one-sided
And you took for granted the things I provided
How do I tell you how much I feel for you
When I have poison in my heart that glues my mouth shut
How do I give more when every single voice in my head is yelling enough
I can't
So I just lay in the corner of my bed, playing this song
Hoping to feel the same warmth I felt that night
That you told me you had feelings for me

Isn't it all so lovely
Repetition followed by intense highs and destructive lows
A chasm that seemingly cannot be escaped
Hands reaching out, never far enough
Worries about nothing all
But above all else, loneliness in the presence of company
Loneliness in the presence of company
Loneliness in the presence of company
In the presence of company