Baby Blue

Ever since I activated my first Tracfone on a Blackberry I've been acting like a asshole
Smile in your face break in at night throw your safe off the bridge and watch it crack Open
That young dumb shit
It's a miracle that I ever got older
I did stronger shit than friends that died young and I carry that shit like a boulder

Walking through a borage of bad omens In Beltzhoover feeling so hopeless
I'll never forget my mom praying with her hand on my shoulder when I was sick from the Opiates

They should've found me lying not breathing on the 100 block of Pius
But I don't know what Helen would've told Miranda after coming home and finding my Body like that
All the times I cheated and lied filled the tear water up to my neck
Until almost I drowned in my own sorrow without ever finding a raft

All the Lies they told me trying to blind me with thoughts about my fucked up past
Blaming shit on everyone else when I was the only one blocking my path
But now I'm the only one out of my city that's writing these verses like I am

Only few remember that delusional kid in that baby blue durag
Nike Cortez
Avirex shorts
Shortys hoodie the kids in my class told me to stop dressing like I'm black
When I was dressing in what I had to be like the men I looked up to because it just Wasn't my dad
But it's all good that's not all bad
I remember he was at Columbia getting his masters
Back in 95 looking at the Twin Towers from the bus in Manhattan

My mom couldn't afford a teddy bear but now it's weekly allowance
And a skateboard ramp how many times I flew off it could've been a thousand
In the late 90's brand new khakis and a Hardaway Jersey it was Magic
Blessed to give thanks for what we had over bread and cheeseburger mac
Used to be a family of four but now were four different families