Shadows

You think that I'm not capable
But I ran it up putting food on the table
Expectations high like I'm living in a fable
This is not a children's book and
I'm not very stable
Rewire my brain
Fucked up all my cables
Do it on my own ion got a fucking label
I got the sauce, got a fat ladle
I put it on a plate this ain't even what I came for
Praying to God that I didn't leave a stain for em'
Praying to god they won't knock on my door
Deflect all the hate cause my body is sore

Palms are sweaty my body is cold
I hate the winter man I hate the snow
Rap for myself I ain't doing no shows
She coming right at me she dealing the blows
I don't think that I'll ever be ok and
I think about dipping but I have to stay
I made a promise that I cannot break and
I try to hide it no emotion on my face and

I'm seeing the shadows form shapes in my mind
Sipping out the bottle and it got me paralyzed
Staring at the wall like I can't feel time
I live out 5 lives in a minute
I don't got the time to hit it
Cause I've had a long day and
I'm having dark thoughts
Always thinking bout
What'll happen if I'm caught

I set the fucking world on fire
Must admit that I'm a liar and
I'm broken I'm so tired
I can see it in your eyes
Cause you a bitch you got no spine
Making money spend my time
I don't let no one inside
I was told that I had friends but
I ain't got shit cause they all lied
Then they left I'm so depressed
Getting drunk to pass the time
Chilling by myself don't remember how to smile
You don't need to buy a vial just unpack and we get wild

I don't emotion not afraid of what I've spoken
I love living in commotion
Always wishing for my death
Always running out breath
Pray tonight might be the end

Ion feel safe why I never sleep in bed
I'm afraid of the demons that hide in the dark
My heart is sensitive why you got blocked

Smoking too much but I'm just tryna feel
Blade to my wrist feel like a movie reel
Bitch is a thief
My money she steals
Dip out of work and I'm going to space
Won't get another look
No face no case
Bitch put me on blast
Now I'm running to escape
I feel like a superhero
I put on a cape

Seeing the shadows form shapes in my mind
Sipping out the bottle and it got me paralyzed
Now I'm staring at the wall like I can't feel time
Live out 5 lives in a minute
I don't got the time to hit it cause
I've had a long day and I'm having dark thoughts
Always think about what'll happen if I'm caught

I'm laying in bed and I'm gripping a knife
Ask all you want but I'll never know why
Heart says to love but my brain wanna die
I'm never sober won't see what's inside

Therapy broken start pushing the pills
The dealers are doctors
Children get killed
Hearts have been broken
My blood has been spilled
See me I'm dripping I ain't got diamonds
My blood down my neck
Not even mine
Think that I'm killing don't care for your lies and

I'm seeing the shadows form shapes in my mind
Sipping out the bottle and it got me paralyzed
Staring at the wall like I can't feel time
During childhood when I learned internalize
Little things hurt sometimes leave me traumatized
If I turn my back it won't ever mean goodbye

I take a step back I think I need distance
I know I am damaged but I'm also finished
My life could be taken at any fucking time
All of my discoveries destructive finds
Tearing me apart words can never describe
My insides are burning my hell is at night
Insides are burning you're still my sunshine

I'm seeing the shadows form shapes in my mind
Sipping out the bottle and it got me paralyzed
Staring at the wall like I can't feel time
During childhood when I learned internalize
Little things hurt sometimes leave me traumatized
If I turn my back it won't ever mean goodbye