Jägermeister

Well Christmas Eve is coming along
The ballot counters sing their song
While I'm out buying my daddy a bottle of Jäger
He told me all his college friends and him
Would stay up shooting shit
Playing Frogger and downing shots of Jäger
So I'm going to buy you a bottle
This Christmas it's your gift
I hope it tastes like it did in '91
Cause when I tasted it I winced
Now backyard Communist dictatorship
Is on the lips of every girl that you could ever kiss
Now every boy and every man
Who's shaken the invisible hand
Is looking down the barrel at himself
Now I don't know about voter fraud
I only know what we got, Lord
If we turn them into holiday trees
And I'm sorry, Dad, we got too sad
Turned it into a TV fad
Nailing and cutting you with a hammer and sickle
Come on China, occupy me
Cause freedom's getting way too free
Been way too long since I
Felt the touch of starvation
And vandalized your traffic cones
With dollar bills and little bottles of Jäger
Leaves are changing
Mark the tide of time that's all been crucified
The lumberjack steps up and cuts your data
And when the battle's at last been won
They'll round up all the daughters and sons
Of every mid-life Rubik's Cube rat-racer
And oh, I've tried to slice the lies
With every morsel of my pride
But you know there's no game without the players
So daddy, let your callous shout
Fall in the wind of cynic doubt
Pour one out for the boys and shoot some Jäger
Come on Facebook, kiss my ass
In your guise of the working class
Been way too long since I
Zipped my lips with superglue
And kissed the fist of Betty Sue
But this time she's not free she's just a faker
Lost my face and lied awake with all the things I'd like to say
Burned your Huxley, Dickinson, Kerouac and Walt Whitman
Superman'll kill himself
White picket gates of koozie hell
I don't the enemies
I only know they're on TV
So daddy, pour one out and shoot some Jäger



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