The Gal Who Gets the Gig

A lady should be docile and discrete
Submissive and subservient and sweet
I never fit that bill
I've got a special skill
I take the gold whenever I compete
One fateful day I tried to stay subdued
Refrained from being racy raw or rude
I have to admit
I was full of shit
If you want capitulation
Well, that's not my occupation

If I were a doctor
I could cure any disease
If I were a scholar
I'd be drowning in degrees
If I worked in a diamond mine
They'd never ask "Can you dig?"
Cause you're lookin' at the gal who gets the gig

If I were a monarch
I would be the queen of kings
If I were an astronaut
They'd give me Saturn's rings
If I were the president
I'd zag when they said zig
So vote for me the gal who gets the gig

Don't tell me to be quiet
I'm the lady Charles Schwab
If you don't like the racket
Hey man I'm just doing my job
If you want to be like me
Just stop and ask yourself
Are you causing a commotion?
Then it's time for a promotion

Since talent is my riches baby
I'm a billionaire
I'm a Ginger Rogers step
Out dancing Fred Astaire
I'm a savvy scientist and
You're my guinea pig
Experiment with the gay who gets the gig

Try to find a substitute and
You'll be out of luck
Try to set your sights on me
But I'm no sitting duck
You'll find that I'm a fixture
If you try to kick me out
Hope that you embrace me
Cause you'll never replace me

You can't knock me out
Because I'm dodging every blow
You can't shoot and arrow
Cause I'm carrying the bow
You can't use a shotgun
Without me to pull the trig
You can't get rid of the gal who gets the gig

I'm who the world employs
Watch me beat out the boys
I'm marvelous for morale
Let's hear it for the gal
The gal who get's the gig