Catch-22

I'm not someone who really wants a lot
The only thing I really want in this world is happiness
I just want to find a place where I feel safe and at peace

I've looked everywhere but I can't find one
Never took a break 'cause I'll break if I don't run
I've lost all my hope, as if I've ever had some
It's like the Devil's taken my life for ransom
I feel so numb, I feel so dumb
For thinking a safe space could be won
If I kept my faith through the hunt,
Though it's been years since I've seen the Sun

Cut to black, I've awakened
Inside a cage, feeling jaded
With nihilism on my tongue
Thriving inside this prison
It's no change from what I've known
Except I can call this my own
Fascinated with the dark and cold
I could call this home

I know tomorrow's lost like yesterday
And nothing will change though I pray everyday
I'll never escape any of this pain
I can feel my sullied soul slowly decay
I have nothing to believe in
Painting the same strokes until the day's end
Don't want to sit, leave, or breathe
It hurts for me to simply be

Lucy duped me and put me in a haze
I believed my creed was just an artful waste
And I'd paint landscapes with the eyes of Dupré
I despise these eyes, black irises turn gray

I'm so sick of wasting my time
Taking long looks back at my unfulfilled life
Wondering why nothing had ever gone right
G-funk boy, boy, you sure love to whine

I'm like a mime who's exhausted
And locked in a box that
I made up, held hostage
By thoughts that are toxic
Block off the bleeding, let's get back to dreaming
Ran out the door, toward the stream of well-being

Suddenly... crack!
I feel something trying to hold me back
Hand on my shoulder with a crippling grasp
Without warning, darkness flooded my path
Memories flash back reminding me of my painful past
As long as I'm alive, my pain won't pass
I'll always be alone, I'm the outcast

All of a sudden, air dissipates
Causing my lungs to deflate and ache
I cannot speak, think, or breath
This is the price of wanting to be free
The pain brought me to my knees
And I feel myself begin to sink
Look above to see Lucy over me
Prepared to force me beyond the brink, ay

God gave me hope as promise
It's proving to be but a garnish
Now my faith is tarnished
I'm witnessing nothing but carnage
Nothing but dark crimson and scarlet
Now I'm brokenhearted

See through his verbage like varnish
I see that I'm the Moon's target
The sky's black and starless
I'm fully emerged in darkness
It grips onto me like a harness, yeah

I'm caught in a catch-22
I'm caught in a, oh
I'm caught in a catch-22
I'm caught in a, oh
I'm caught in a catch-22
I'm caught in a-a-a-a
I'm caught in a catch-22
I'm caught in a-a-a-a
I'm caught in a catch-22
I'm caught in a-a-a-a

Hold it, hold it, hold it, what the heck is my tongue quoting?
I wake up soaking in an ocean of nihilistic devotion
Shoot my eyes open, now I'm scoping chains on my hands, feet, and throat and
I look down to see the weight holding me below is Lucy

Why did you have to choose me?
I'm nothing special, can't you see?
Do you have some sort of crush on me?
God, just stay the hell away from me
Keep holding the chain, Lu, 'cause I'm coming down
How's it feel knowing I'm not running now?
Look me in my eyes, they're darker than yours
This ain't an attack, no, this is a war
Use these chains around my hands and wrapped them around his throat
Wrap the ones trapping my feet around his waist and firm the hold

As the air leaves his lungs, the sea level starts to fall
Until there's not a drop left and my little lungs are full
I look down to see that his body is gone
Along with my chains and along with my thought
Though I know he's not dead and I know he'll be back
Next time I'll be prepared for Lucy's next attack

And I don't care a bit, I am not scared him
I'm in my element, Lucy is hella bent
To make me reverent, calling the reverend
And I'll be sending him to fight him off with the power of God

Never thought that I would broaden all my options I've been plotting
Fires in gardens? I can squash them
T's I'm crossing, I's I'm dotting
Wait, I hear a whisper calling
Who is that on the horizon?
Standing, with a glare of iron
Oh my god, is he back again?