The Participant

First place is the best second ain't too bad
Third's still on the podium it's kinda rad
At least that's what I was told never felt it in the past
'Cause anything timed graded or judged meant I come in last

First place is the best second ain't too bad
Third's still on the podium it's kinda rad
Yes I grew up in the 80's and I'll always talk this way dude
But that's not what I'm saying here today

Participation ribbons started when I was young
Got an award for showing up there was nothing I had done
And then I got a second and another that made three
Now look into my trophy case there's just a sea of green

First place is the best second ain't too bad
Third's still on the podium it's kinda rad
If I had a time machine this is what I'd do
Go back and say don't give me a ribbon for adding two plus two
'Cause now I got 500 and a life that's just a mess
Trying to believe at 43 that I'm still the best

First place is the best second ain't too bad
Third's still on the podium it's kinda rad
If it wasn't for that drug test I took the other day
There wouldn't be anything positive in my life to say
And although I sit in prison I'm too proud to be concerned
My probation violation is the one thing that I earned

First place is the best second ain't too bad
Third's still on the podium it's kinda rad
The only thing my headstone could every really say
Is "he was a participant and then he went away"
If I showed up at the Pearly Gates this is what they'd say
"Nice try and thanks for playing" then send me on my way
But not before Saint Peter said I was the best
And pinned that green ribbon on my fuckin' chest

Come on everybody get up and sing along
You can be a participant in the participation song
Come on everybody get up and sing along
You can be a participant in the participation song

Oh wait I forgot you don't even have to try
Everyone gets an award for showing up tonight
Everyone gets an award just for showing up tonight