IDK If I'm a Boy

I don't know if I'm a boy
I don't know if I'm a man
I know I wanna be called pretty
But I don't know if I want titties

I guess I could say gender non-conforming
But I've done really well conforming
And non-binary doesn't have the ring I've been looking for

I am Jake and I am Foster
I am something in the middle
But I'm fine with both these names that I've been given

I don't know if I'm a reject
I don't know if I'm a loser
But I know that I've been feelin'
Feminine since I was teethin' (maybe not that early)
I don't know if I can rock it
I don't think my ass is poppin'
But I know that I've been breathin'
Different when I'm wearin' makeup

Maybe then never mind
I was gonna undercut
All of my feelings with stupid lines about musical theatre
That's not what I'm here for

I have a tendency for irony
You see those stupid words served to protect me
But I can't figure out those stupid words
I don't know if I like he or her

I remember wearing my mom's high heels
And these pink work-out sweatpants
Yeah, I was a little kid
Who didn't know to hide it

I remember hatin' all my clothes
And seeing pretty girls with pretty clothes
And I was envious
How can I be one of those?

I don't know if I'm a reject
I don't know if I'm a loser
But I know that I've been feeling'
Feminine since I was teethin'
I don't know if I can rock it
I don't think my ass is poppin'
But I know that I've been breathin'
Different when I'm wearin' makeup

And I told myself, "Lose a little weight
And you can wear anything you want"
And I tried to wait until I lost enough, but
It never felt like it came
And I told myself, "Lose a little weight
You can dress any women's clothes"
And I gained some weight, then I told myself
"Fuck it, bitch, I am writing a song"

Now I know that I'm a reject
My own special kind of loser
But I know that I've been feelin'
Feminine since I was breathin'
I'm not sure if I can rock it
But I'm sure my ass is poppin'
And I know that I've been breathin'
Different since I've got this feeling