Spilt Beans

You had to have your ear pressed up against the plaster wall
As they spoke your name over video call
And the rain tapped on your window like a snare drum
You had to have your PJs tucked in combat boots
And your eyes grew wide as you learned the truth
And it popped in your face and lingered like a mylar balloon
And as your vision blurred you lost your grip
The breathing exercises didn't do shit
You hit the grounds one hundred pounds of caustic wit

And now I find the books
That I have been reading
Don't really apply to this life I've been leading
And I got caught unprepared
I saw you standing there
Too scared to move
You only cared about something
That never existed
But the the sky here
Is just so big
It can hold our hope and the childhood things that we
Never managed to sell

Now where's that smug smile so full of shit
That the grass grew greener wherever you spit
And wit that makes them laugh and makes you lonely
Now you're as tough as nails you're the boss
But your gums still bleed when you care to floss
And I'm sorry they didn't keep the secret better
Had to have your hair pulled back with the acetylene torch
As you lit a fire on that pearly white porch
To scorch the pretty lies they bred and fed you

So you got your duffle bag
Packed up the cat
Took a hammer to your piggy bank
And tried not to look back
And you cried and cried
In the bus shelter light
Faded graffiti reads
"DISCO AIN'T DEAD AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE"